IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

more and more people nowaday expext to get what they want instantly (Goods,service,news) withoit having to wait. do you think this expectation is positive or negative development?

In
this
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 modern
erra
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era
,
People
Use synonyms
 increasingly
wants
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want
show examples
 to receive goods and services
instanly
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instantly
 without any delays .
it
Fix capitalization
It
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 is
and
Use the right word
an
show examples
 undeniable fact that it leads the
prople
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people
 to be
impatient
Punctuation problem
impatient,
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whreas
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whereas
 it
also
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give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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benifits
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benefits
 of saving time and efficiency.
Although
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this
Linking Words
 trend provides numerous
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conveniences
convenienc
Punctuation problem
convenienc,
show examples
 it
also
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 has drawbacks in
peoples
Check wording
people's
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. I strongly
beleive
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believe
 that it is a negative development
on
Change preposition
in
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Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and
behaviour
Use synonyms
To begin
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 with , the
rason
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reason
 behind
this
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 expectation is the rapid development of the
technology
Use synonyms
 .
with
Fix capitalization
With
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 the vast use of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and social media ,
People
Use synonyms
 are accustomed to
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 updates every single minute . It is generally seen that the change in human
behaviour
Use synonyms
 has a vast change
from
Change preposition
over
show examples
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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decade
Punctuation problem
decade,
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 where
folk
Check wording
people
show examples
 have less access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
Use synonyms
 .
For instance
Linking Words
, Online shopping platforms
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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customer
shop
Verb problem
to shop
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 for anything they are looking for and the products are delivered within
short
Correct article usage
a short
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 period of time at the
door
Use the right word
doorstep
show examples
 step which
ease
Correct subject-verb agreement
eases
show examples
 the life of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 after their
hactic
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hectic
 work schedule.
As a result
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 , the
people
Use synonyms
 started relay on
thes
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this
technology
Use synonyms
 .
However
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,
this
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 trend has a
negavtive
Correct your spelling
negative
 impact on
scoiety
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society
behaviour
Use synonyms
 .
Firtsly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, it
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 the
people
Use synonyms
 impatient
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is why they started
panicing
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panicking
if they have to wait for something . As they find it difficult to wait and
tolarate
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tolerate
 the delays .
Secondly
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 , the pressure to provide instant service to the customer
makes
Verb problem
puts
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 pressure
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the employees working at the
providers
Check wording
provider's
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 place . Which
further
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 leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adequate quality with the excessive workload.
On the other hand
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 , Immediate
information
Use synonyms
 can
also
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 offer some
benifits
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benefits
 to give goods and valuable
information
Use synonyms
 to the user
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will help them to reach their future goals . For
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example
exmaple
Add a comma
exmaple,
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 if someone is
prairing
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preparing
 for competitive exams , they must know the current affairs going on in the
spociety
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society
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is
easy access
Replace the word
easily accessible
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on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
throught
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through
the internet .
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
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 the
drwabacks
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drawbacks
overwiegh
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outweigh
 the
bennifits
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benefits
 since the
demad
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demand
of
Change preposition
for
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urgency
Replace the word
urgent
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 is mushrooming day by day . In conclusion, the
afformationed
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aforementioned
 points clarify that the instant
information
Use synonyms
chnage
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changes
 the
behaviour
Use synonyms
 of society
from
Change preposition
over
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decade as the
technology
Use synonyms
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
.But it can be
resolevd
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resolved
 if they take appropriate
measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
show examples
 to
takle
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tackle
 the
sitaion
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situation
 of
impatienceness
Correct your spelling
impatience
.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Add one more clear and real example to support your bad points, not only general ideas.
task response
Explain your ideas more deeply. Some points are short, so the reader wants more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in a clearer order. Some parts jump from one idea to another too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Some are good, but some sentences still feel broken or not well joined.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one main idea and support it fully before moving on.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion that this is a negative development.
task response
You include both sides of the topic, which shows good thinking about the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like however, for instance, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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