IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart
illuestrates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
minutes
Use synonyms
 of telephone calls in
australia
Fix capitalization
Australia
show examples
,
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 into three parts,
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2001 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the local telephone calls were the highest
porpotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
minutes
Use synonyms
 in all these years,
while
Linking Words
 mobile calls were the lowest.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, local telephone calls kept increasing from 72
minutes
Use synonyms
 to 90
up
Check wording
minutes up
show examples
 till 2005, the same goes for national and international calls
as well as
Linking Words
 mobile calls.
Moreover
Linking Words
, local
calls
Fix the agreement mistake
call
show examples
minutes
Use synonyms
 have dropped significantly
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2005 to 2008, declining from 90
minutes
Use synonyms
 to 72,
while
Linking Words
 national and international calls and mobile calls remained increasing.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: