IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You would like to spend your summer time by volunteering in a homeless shelter. Write a letter to the managers of the summer organization. In your letter, • explain what work you would like to do • describe yourself • say what relevant experience and skills you have

Dear Sir, I am Abc, a resident of Surrey, BC. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my interest in volunteering at
homeless
Correct article usage
a homeless
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 shelter. I really enjoy working with kids. I received various awards from different institutions for my outstanding work.
Along with
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this
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, my culinary skills are great. I am an
extrovert
Replace the word
extroverted
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 person and easily
to
Verb problem
apply
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fit in every environment. I would really like to use my skills and help
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people in need. I
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 three years of teaching experience. My main
responsibilties
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 to supervise the kids, educate
th
Correct your spelling
them
 on their
day to day
Use the right word
day-to-day
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 activities. Whenever
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 I cook meals, all my loved ones praise me. I am really interested
to show
Change preposition
in showing
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 my skills at your organisation. I would
gratelly
Correct your spelling
greatly
 appreciate the opportunity to volunteer at your organisation. An open line of communication, from your side, would greatly help out. Yours sincerely, Abc

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add more clear detail about what work you want to do in the shelter.
task response
Task response: Your tone is polite, but some lines sound unclear. Use short and direct sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each paragraph and link ideas with simple words like also, because, and so.
coherence and cohesion
You include a greeting and closing, which is good for a formal letter.
task response
You say your skills and work experience, so the reader can understand your purpose.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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