Some people believe that a country would benefit a lot from a large proportion of young people entering into university; however, others think that sending young people to universities only leads to graduate unemployment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

University
Use synonyms
enrolment rates have been rising steadily worldwide, and opinions are divided on whether
this
Linking Words
benefits a country or simply produces more unemployed graduates. I believe higher
education
Use synonyms
offers advantages, but only when it is paired with vocational training and strong links between academia and the job market. Supporters argue that
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
enhances a nation's human capital and innovation capacity. Universities cultivate critical thinking and specialised knowledge, which are essential for technological progress and economic development. In Taiwan, several top universities,
such
Linking Words
as NTU and NCTU, have continuously produced engineering and computer science talent, which has sustained a lot of world-class companies like TSMC and MediaTek. Statistics
also
Linking Words
consistently show that
university
Use synonyms
graduates enjoy higher lifetime earnings and greater job stability than those without degrees.
However
Linking Words
, Taiwan
also
Linking Words
illustrates the dangers of
university
Use synonyms
over-expansion. Despite a declining birth rate, the number of universities has not decreased, and many programmes produce graduates whose skills do not match market demands.
This
Linking Words
has led to widespread degree devaluation and difficulty finding relevant employment. The solution is not to reduce
university
Use synonyms
enrolment, but to develop vocational
education
Use synonyms
alongside academic pathways. Germany's dual system is a valuable model , where students combine classroom learning with company internships and are job-ready upon graduation. Strengthening industry-academia cooperation would ensure that
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
remains practical and relevant. In conclusion,
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
benefits a country, but only when curricula align with market needs. Both academic and vocational pathways should be developed in parallel to maximise the value of higher
education
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Write a little more about the other side in paragraph 2. This will make both views more equal.
task response
Add one more clear example of graduate unemployment. This can make your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way, but do not use too many.
task response
Make the opinion very clear in every main paragraph, not only in the introduction and end.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea, as you mostly do now.
task response
You answer both views and give your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and relevant.
task response
You use real examples like Taiwan and Germany, which support your ideas well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: