Some people believe that a country would benefit a lot from a large proportion of young people entering into university; however, others think that sending young people to universities only leads to graduate unemployment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, the number of young

people

Use synonyms

who attend

university

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

increased significantly. Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that

this

Linking Words

trend is beneficial for the

country

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others argue that it only results in more unemployed

graduates

Use synonyms

. In my opinion,

university

Use synonyms

education

Use synonyms

is generally a good thing, but some changes

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

needed to make it more effective. On the one hand, having more

university

Use synonyms

graduates

Use synonyms

can bring many advantages to a

country

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

university

Use synonyms

education

Use synonyms

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

to improve the

overall

Linking Words

quality of the population.

People

Use synonyms

who have received higher

education

Use synonyms

are more likely to work in important fields

such

Linking Words

as technology, medicine, and engineering, which can contribute to the

country

Use synonyms

's economic development.

Secondly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

show examples

teach students not only professional knowledge but

also

Linking Words

critical thinking and problem-solving skills. These abilities make them better citizens who can think more independently and make more rational decisions.

In addition

Linking Words

Use synonyms

university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

show examples

provide a platform for young

people

Use synonyms

from different backgrounds to meet and communicate with each

others

Fix the agreement mistake

other

show examples

, which is good for social harmony.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some valid concerns about too many young

people

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going to

university

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. The most obvious problem is that the

job

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market cannot always absorb so

much

Correct determiner usage

many

show examples

graduates

Use synonyms

. Many students finish their degree but cannot find a

job

Use synonyms

that

match

Correct subject-verb agreement

matches

show examples

their qualification, so they end up doing

works

Check wording

work

show examples

that

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

not require a

university

Use synonyms

degree at all.

This

Linking Words

situation is sometimes called "degree inflation".

Furthermore

Linking Words

, some

university

Use synonyms

courses are not closely connected to what the

job

Use synonyms

market actually

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, subjects like philosophy or art history may be interesting, but there are very few related jobs available.

Finally

Linking Words

, attending

university

Use synonyms

cost

Correct subject-verb agreement

costs

show examples

a lot of money and time. If

graduates

Use synonyms

cannot find a good

job

Use synonyms

after spending four years in

university

Use synonyms

, they may face serious financial pressure, especially those who have student loans. In conclusion, I believe that

university

Use synonyms

education

Use synonyms

is still valuable for both individuals and the

country

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, universities should try to make their courses more practical and relevant to the

job

Use synonyms

market. At the same time, governments should

also

Linking Words

creating

Wrong verb form

create

show examples

job

Use synonyms

opportunities so that

graduates

Use synonyms

can make good use of what they have learned.

sammi1747

Mar 11, 2026

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task response

Answer both sides a bit more deeply. Your view is clear, but some ideas could be more fully explained.

task response

Add one or two more real and clear examples to support your main ideas.

task response

Keep each main point linked to the question. Most parts do this well.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is easy to follow because the order is clear: intro, two body parts, conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words well, but do not use too many simple ones in the same way. Try a little more range.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences can be joined more smoothly so the flow feels more natural.

task response

You discussed both views and gave your own opinion clearly.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.

coherence and cohesion

Each body paragraph has one main idea and good focus.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

359 words

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Some old people today struggle with the use of modern technologies such as smart phones and computers. What is the cause of this and what are some possible solutions?

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