IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently bought a jacket, but when you got home, you discovered it was damaged. When you took it back to the store, you were told that the merchandise cannot be returned. Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter: Describe the problem with the jacket Explain what happened and what happened when you tried to return it. Say what you would like the manager to do.

Dear Sir / Madam, I am writing to explain my dissatisfaction. I purchased a
jacket
Use synonyms
 at the NIKE store two days ago. I noticed it was damaged ,
eventhough Ihave
Correct your spelling
even though I have
 not worn
this
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jacket
Use synonyms
. So I went to the store as soon as I could after I found the problem. Some stuff took down my request ,
eventhough Ihad
Correct your spelling
even though I had
 a receipt.
That is
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 why I could not return the
jacket
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 , and they did not refund me.
However
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, I do not want to wear the
jacket
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 because the stain really stands out. I would like you to replace it to new
jacket
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 or another item.
In addition
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, it would be helpful if you could refund me. I would appreciate it if you could deal with
this
Linking Words
 problem as soon as possible and reply to my message. Yours sincerely, Kazuya Nakagawa

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task response
For task response, say more about the damage. For example, say where the stain was and how big it was.
task response
For task response, explain the return try more clearly. Say who you spoke to and what they said.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, link ideas with easy words like 'First', 'When', 'However', and 'Therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, check small word forms like 'staff' not 'stuff' and 'a new jacket' not 'to new jacket'.
task response
For task response, you answered all parts of the task and said what you want the manager to do.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your greeting and closing fit a formal letter.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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