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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts Below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the word. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons were relevant.

The pie graph provides data about the proportion of water consumption for diverse goals in several parts of the world.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that
agriculture
Use synonyms
 has the biggest part in almost all regions. Another striking feature is that all areas
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the same pattern,
expect of
Change preposition
except for
show examples
 Europe and North
America
Use synonyms
. Looking at the details, as regards Africa, South
America
Use synonyms
, Central and South-East
Asia
Punctuation problem
Asia,
show examples
 they demonstates trend of
agricultular
Correct your spelling
agricultural
 dominance.
For instance
Linking Words
, Africa
Use synonyms
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 a modern seven per
cent
Use synonyms
 of water for industrial purposes, the same number for
Asia
Replace the word
Asian
 parts, but for domestic
use
Use synonyms
, in Africa it's one-tenth
without
Change preposition
, with
show examples
 one per
cent
Use synonyms
. By the way, in Asias previous field made up a mere five and 12 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 has
substantial
Correct article usage
a substantial
show examples
 84, 88 and 81 per
cent
Use synonyms
responsibly
Replace the word
responsibility
.
However
Linking Words
, South
Use synonyms
America
Check wording
America's
show examples
 consumption for domestic is around one-fifth, but for
industrial
Correct article usage
the industrial
show examples
 sphere it's like twice less, but
agriculture
Use synonyms
 has
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 71 per
cent
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
, when it comes to North
America
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 and Europe, it went in the opposite direction. In inductrial
zone
Add a comma
zone,
show examples
 they
use
Use synonyms
 around one-second of water.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is 39 and 32 for
agriculture
Use synonyms
, and 13 and 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
 for domestic
use
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture, america, use, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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