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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is an irrefutable fact that
history
Use synonyms
 is an essential subject for students. which was always debatable, has now become more controversial, with many people claiming that it is beneficial,
while
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 others reject
this
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 notion. The substantial influence of
this
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 trend has sparked controversy over
the
Correct article usage
its
show examples
 potential impact in recent years. In
this
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 essay, I shall explain my point of view by analysing the advantages and disadvantages of biography and other subjects
Correct pronoun usage
, which
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thus
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 will lead to a plausible conclusion. To commence with, there are a number of arguments in favour of my belief ,but the most preponderant
one
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 stems from the fact that scholars need to know about the
predators's
Check wording
predators'
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history
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, their life and journey. Another pivotal aspect of
this
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 trend is that it helps them to understand the past and know the value of ancient things, and
also
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 gain knowledge on how to handle situations in wars. To cite an example, data from
Hardvard university
Correct your spelling
Harvard University
 pointed out that more than 70 per cent of the people were in favour of the benefits provided by
history
Use synonyms
.
However
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, there are several demertis but
one
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 of the critical effects is that others are
also
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 essential, as they may lose their employment, because science and technology directly help to understand the economic growth.
Besides
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, it is
also
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 a fact that it is not likely to help
one
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 thrive and excel in varied areas.
Hence
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, it is apparent why many are against
this
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 trend.
According to
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 the arguments stated above,
one
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 can reach
Correct article usage
the
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conclusion that the benefits of the
history
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 subject are instrumental indeed;
nevertheless
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, its potential
drawabacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
 should not be overlooked.

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task response
Answer both sides of the question clearly. You talk more about history, but the view about science and technology is not fully explained.
task response
Give your own opinion in a direct way. Write it clearly in the introduction and again in the conclusion.
task response
Use ideas that fit the topic. 'Biography' is not the same as history, so this part feels off topic.
task response
Support each main point with a clear reason and one simple example. Your example about the university is too general and may not be true.
coherence and cohesion
Make one clear paragraph for each side. This will help the essay feel more balanced and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple way. Some long phrases make the meaning hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check each sentence connects to the main idea of the paragraph. Some sentences do not fit well together.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences. For example: 'History helps students learn from the past.' and 'Science and technology are key for modern jobs.'
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to discuss both views, not only one side.
task response
The main topic is clear in most parts of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like 'however' and 'besides'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical perspective
  • Analytical skills
  • Contextual understanding
  • Technological advancements
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Job market
  • Climate crisis
  • Cultural identity
  • Critical thinking
  • Humanities
  • Contemporary issues
  • Integration
  • Tech-savvy
What to do next:
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