It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

At present, whilst
opponent
Fix the agreement mistake
opponents
show examples
hold the view that it isn't
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essential for guardians to teach
breed
Check wording
children
show examples
to shape behavior in certain age,
proponent
Fix the agreement mistake
proponents
show examples
have a
divers
Replace the word
diverse
perspective that
parents
Use synonyms
should teach offspring
the
Verb problem
to
show examples
distinguish between
right
Use synonyms
and wrong at an early age.
However
Linking Words
, I'm a staunch believer that custodians must
teacher
Replace the word
teach
their children
difference
Correct article usage
the difference
show examples
between
right
Use synonyms
and wrong when they are kids because
first,
Linking Words
children will get knowledge about what is good and bad
things
Use synonyms
to deal with daily basis.
Second
Add a comma
Second,
show examples
they will have
Use synonyms
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
to opt in different situations
what
Punctuation problem
, what
show examples
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
right
Use synonyms
and wrong
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
society. On the
on
Use the right word
one
show examples
hand,
breeds
Check wording
children
show examples
will get knowledge about what is good and bad
things
Use synonyms
to deal with daily basis and
parents
Use synonyms
at
this
Linking Words
moment will play a significant role
to teach
Change preposition
in teaching
show examples
them. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, children are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
listener
Fix the agreement mistake
listeners
show examples
, so when they learn
things
Use synonyms
at home or
school
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
,
show examples
they will be disciplined ,
while
Linking Words
others
not
Verb problem
are not
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, if
parents
Use synonyms
teach their
breeds
Check wording
children
show examples
to be
discipline
Wrong verb form
disciplined
show examples
at
school
Use synonyms
and study hard to get
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
opportunity in the future
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
but if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
they didn't ,
so
Correct word choice
then
show examples
they should not
raising
Wrong verb form
raise
show examples
their voice at them
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
they should deprive them
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
worthy
things
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as
iPhone
Correct article usage
an iPhone
show examples
. In my opinion, I think they will be
discipline
Replace the word
disciplined
and follow their instructions.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, lineage will have
Use synonyms
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
to opt in different situations what is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
right
Use synonyms
and wrong
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
society. To illustrate,
offsprings
Check wording
offspring
show examples
if they
taught
Verb problem
are taught
show examples
what is wrong and
right
Use synonyms
at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
early age thy will have
Use synonyms
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
to face problems and try to solve
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
without any
interfere
Replace the word
interference
from their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
instance, if they got bullied at
school
Use synonyms
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
sure they will
compline
Correct your spelling
complain
about them
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the
principle in
Replace the word
principal
at
school
Use synonyms
will take action and will let them
to apologize
Change the spelling
apologise
show examples
. In my point of view, I think
this
Linking Words
good
responds
Replace the word
response
from the
principle
Use the right word
principal
show examples
about what he did. In conclusion,
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
I think offsprings should learn
difference
Correct article usage
the difference
show examples
between what is wrong and
right
Use synonyms
in
Correct word choice
when
show examples
they are kids because they will have
Use synonyms
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
to know how to deal with these problems and take
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
right
Use synonyms
responds
Replace the word
response
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts more clearly. Say how much you agree, and then give clear kinds of punishment for parents and teachers.
task response
Give fuller ideas. Some points are too general, so the reader is not always sure what you mean.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more direct. Make sure each example shows your main point well.
coherence and cohesion
Make your paragraph order more clear. Start each body paragraph with one main idea, then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple, correct way. Some linking words are used, but often in the wrong place.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one. At times, the essay feels hard to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep the same side in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
You include both an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You try to use examples to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: