IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You decide to apply for the job. Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter: •introduce yourself •explain what experience and special skills you have •explain why you are interested in the job

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter in response to the job vacancy at the City Museum.
Firstly
Linking Words
, my name is Ekta. I am currently working with the Defender Security group as a supervisor in Toronto , Canada. I am a South Asian who has resided in
this
Linking Words
 country for 5 years.
Secondly
Linking Words
, to enhance my experience and skills in the respective industry, I have gained an impressive knowledge of history during my college period.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I worked as a history presenter to all the visitors for 1 and a half years in a museum.
Similarly
Linking Words
, teamwork and working efficiently in a busy environment are my special traits.
However
Linking Words
, I have been realising that I was getting apart from my interest
due to
Linking Words
 the hectic life in canada but the moment I read about
this
Linking Words
 task, I felt nostalgic because there would be nothing more effective than
this
Linking Words
 to get back to the same atmosphere again in the museum.
Also
Linking Words
, since I have studied
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hospitality for 2 years, working as a front desk associate at a shop was always
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my wish list. Yours faithfully, Ekta

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coherence cohesion
Make your main points more clear and short. Some lines are too long and hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. A few parts feel forced.
task achievement
Answer each part of the task with one clear point and one example.
task achievement
Keep the tone formal all the way. Do not use very personal or unclear lines.
coherence cohesion
Your letter has a clear opening, body, and closing.
task achievement
You cover all parts of the task.
task achievement
Your reason for wanting the job is personal and clear.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph mostly has one main idea.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dear Director,
  • enthusiastic applicant
  • pursuing a degree in
  • customer service experience
  • volunteer work
  • multilingual
  • cash handling
  • POS systems
  • team player
  • punctual
  • excellent communicator
  • cultural enthusiast
  • part-time position
  • professional references available
  • at your earliest convenience
What to do next:
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