IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should in 20 minutes for this task.

The bar chart compares the duration of
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 spent by males and females across different
categories
Use synonyms
, including full-
time
Use synonyms
employment
Use synonyms
, part-
time
Use synonyms
employment
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, unemployment, retirement, and housewives (for
women
Use synonyms
 only), between 1998 and 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 generally spend slightly more
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 than
women
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in the
categories
Use synonyms
 of housewives and part-
time
Use synonyms
employment
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, only
women
Use synonyms
 are shown to spend
leisure
Use synonyms
time
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. In
further
Linking Words
 detail, most
categories
Use synonyms
 indicate that males spend more
time
Use synonyms
 on
leisure
Use synonyms
 activities. The longest durations are observed among the unemployed and retired groups for both genders. In these two
categories
Use synonyms
, which show similar figures,
women
Use synonyms
 spend around 75
hours
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 per week,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 spend slightly more, at approximately 85
hours
Use synonyms
. The
second highest
Correct your spelling
second-highest
 figures are seen in full-
time
Use synonyms
employment
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, where
women
Use synonyms
 spend nearly 40
hours
Use synonyms
 per week, compared to about 50
hours
Use synonyms
 for
men
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.
However
Linking Words
, there are
categories
Use synonyms
 where no data is provided for
men
Use synonyms
. One example is housewives, where
women
Use synonyms
 spend around 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per week on
leisure
Use synonyms
 activities.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in part-
time
Use synonyms
employment
Use synonyms
, only
women
Use synonyms
 are shown, spending approximately 40
hours
Use synonyms
 weekly.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words leisure, time, categories, employment, women, men, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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