IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email ·give details of the purchase ·describe the problem ·explain why you need a replacement urgently You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows： Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to report my unsatisfaction for the online purchase of clothes
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 week. I used to have a great time
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping in your online shop,
this
Linking Words
 is the second time for me to buy clothing from you,
however
Linking Words
, I do not understand why the quality of your
merchandises
Check wording
merchandise
show examples
 is so
aweful
Correct your spelling
awful
this
Linking Words
 time. The reason why I complain
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 it is
because
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 I found a lot of
defections
Replace the word
defects
 on those clothes,
for example
Linking Words
, there is an obvious ink stain on a brand new white shirt, and another one is worse, a broken part of the black dress which is just like
has
Correct pronoun usage
it has
show examples
 been bitten by
bug
Correct article usage
a bug
show examples
. I have to attend my friend's wedding next week, so I need to request a immidiate replacement for these clothes,
otherwise
Linking Words
 I have no appropriate attire to match the
occation
Correct your spelling
occasion
 on that day. Yours faithfully Chris

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response: You answered all parts, but add more clear detail about the order, like item name, size, or order date.
task response
For task response: Use a more polite and formal tone. For example, say 'I am dissatisfied with my order' not 'I do not understand why'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are in a good order, but some sentences are too long. Split them into shorter parts.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Use simple linking words like 'First', 'Also', 'Because of this', and 'Therefore' to make the letter easier to follow.
task response
For task response: You covered the purchase, the problem, and the need for a quick replacement.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear opening, body, and ending.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: