The bar chart shows the percentage of young people in higher education in 2000, 2005 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
childhood
Check wording
children
show examples
in higher school in 2002, 2005 and 2010. The
measured
Replace the word
measurements
are given in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
country
Use synonyms
D had the highest percentage throughout the period.
Whereas
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
B had the lowest figure
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
the period. In 2010 was the
most year roughly
Correct word order
year with the most significant
show examples
rise. In detail,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
country
Use synonyms
D in 2010 reached about 60%
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is the biggest proportion,
while
Linking Words
in 2000,
country
Use synonyms
A it per cent at approximately 35%
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is the lowest figure. In
Use synonyms
country
Check wording
countries
show examples
B and
c
Fix capitalization
C
show examples
in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
the
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
were
downward
Rephrase
apply
show examples
about 40% and 45%
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
year 2000,
was
Check wording
the percentage
show examples
slightly increased from the beginning at around 35% to 45%.
Also
Linking Words
the year
2005
Punctuation problem
2005,
show examples
the figure went down slightly
after
Correct word choice
, and after
show examples
that
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
rose
at the end
Linking Words
of the period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words country with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • notable
  • significant
  • comparison
  • higher education
  • young people
  • year-on-year
  • socio-economic factors
  • government policy
  • economic conditions
  • cultural attitudes
  • globalization
  • educational reforms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: