IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You successfully passed a job interview. You are expected to start on November 15, but you will not be available on that date. Task: Write a letter to your new boss, explaining your situation, expressing your concern and suggesting a solution.

Dear Boss, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in good health. I recently passed a job interview at your firm, and I am excited to join your team. I was expected to join
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 November 15.
However
Linking Words
, I want to inform you that I am not available on that day. The reason behind my
unavailablity
Correct your spelling
unavailability
 is my mother's surgery,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is scheduled for that day.
Therefore
Linking Words
,I need to accompany her
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the hospital on that day because my father is out of town. My mother's surgery date was already planned one month ago
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I was not expecting that I would be required to join the job
this
Linking Words
 early. I am extremely
concern
Replace the word
concerned
 about
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if possible, can
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 start my job after 3 days
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 As my mother will get discharged by that time
and
Correct word choice
,
show examples
 I will be fully ready to start my work. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation. Sincerely, Asma

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task response
Task response: You answered all parts of the task, but add a little more about how you feel about the new job and your worry.
task response
Task response: Use a more polite tone in one or two lines, for example 'I would be very grateful if you could allow me to start on November 18.'
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter is easy to follow because the ideas move in a clear order.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some link words are good, but check small grammar and word form mistakes because they can make the flow less smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep spaces and commas correct, for example 'Therefore, I' and 'concerned'.
task response
Task response: You clearly explained why you cannot start on November 15.
task response
Task response: You gave a clear solution by asking to start three days later.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear opening, reason, concern, and solution.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph has one main idea, which helps the reader.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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