IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter - remind him when and where you met - tell him what kind of job you are interested in -say why you think you would be suitable for the job

Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
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 William
Hann
Punctuation problem
Hann,
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 the Executive of Lotus
hotel
Fix capitalization
Hotel
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 My name is Kittichai Orapruek,
hope
Correct pronoun usage
I hope
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 you can
remenber
Correct your spelling
remember
 me, that we
are
Verb problem
apply
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met on
flight
Correct article usage
a flight
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 that
trafered
Correct your spelling
transferred
 from the US to Thailand on
Monday
Punctuation problem
Monday,
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 24
Decamber
Correct your spelling
December
 2027
, i
Punctuation problem
. I
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 am very
appreciate
Replace the word
appreciative
 that you
give
Wrong verb form
gave
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 me a contact, during
on
Change preposition
apply
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that plane
that
Correct word choice
, where
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 we had some talk about
perpective
Correct your spelling
perspective
 and vision that you had invested
on
Change preposition
in
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 your business, make me so
respecful
Correct your spelling
respectful
 and interesting about the job that you
done
Wrong verb form
did
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. After
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 the
conversertion
Correct your spelling
conversation
 that time i very interesting on you company
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 that a reason that i am writing to apply for
a
Correct article usage
the
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 position that you announce in the company website
, the role that i
Punctuation problem
. I
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 want to take responsbility in maketing manager because i ever had
numurous
Correct your spelling
numerous experiences
 in th fill and nowadays i working on healthcare service sector
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 think it
going to
Wrong verb form
will be
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 useful for
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
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team
Check wording
team's
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 direction in
thr
Correct your spelling
the
 future so please response me and
hope
Correct pronoun usage
I hope
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that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we
and
Verb problem
can
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 work
togetter
Correct your spelling
together
 your sincerely Kittichai Orapruek

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task response
Task response: You answer all 3 parts, but some ideas are not clear. Say the job name in a clear way and give 1 or 2 strong reasons.
task response
Task response: Use a more formal letter style. Write short, clear lines and check names, place, and date.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Put one main idea in each paragraph: meeting, job, why you are good for it.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use simple link words like and, so, because, after that. This will make the letter easy to follow.
task response
Task response: You include when and where you met, the job you want, and why you think you are good for it.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has an opening, a middle, and an ending, so the reader can follow the main plan.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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