Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think it is government responsibility to limit people's sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual's responsibility to limit the amount of suger they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is proven that consuming too much

sugar

Use synonyms

is detrimental

for

Change preposition

show examples

our

health

Use synonyms

Threrefore

Correct your spelling

Therefore

, an increasing number of people believe that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should control

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

consumption. Others contend that citizens should be accountable

to make

Change preposition

for

show examples

their diet plan which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

free from excessive

sugar

Use synonyms

. From my

perspective

Add a comma

perspective,

show examples

both are responsible for their

health

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, governments have the duty to protect public

health

Use synonyms

by enforcing regulations and building public

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

about healthy eating. They have the authority to enforce producers to

attatch

Correct your spelling

attach

clear food labels mentioning the amount of

sugar

Use synonyms

contains

Wrong verb form

contained

show examples

, which will help the customers make more informed

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

before buying.

In addition

Linking Words

, authorities can run public

awerness

Correct your spelling

awareness

programmes all over the country about healty diet and the negative

concequences

Correct your spelling

consequences

of eating too much

sugar

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because governments have the

fund

Check wording

funds

show examples

organize

Change the spelling

organise

show examples

and operate

this

Linking Words

kind of nationwide

projects

Fix the agreement mistake

project

show examples

. Countries,

for instance

Linking Words

, which have invested more

Change preposition

show examples

public

health

Use synonyms

education, have been found

having

Wrong verb form

to have

show examples

a healthy population.

Therefore

Linking Words

, authorities are heavily responsible for building a healthy nation by controlling what their citizens will consume.

On the other hand

Linking Words

health

Use synonyms

perhaps should be the most significant priority for everyone.

Although

Linking Words

governments have certain power to control

over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the market and society, they cannot decide what an individual will consume. As consumers have the freedom of choice about what to eat, they should be more

causious

Correct your spelling

cautious

about their diet. By avoiding food items containing too much

sugar

Use synonyms

, people can maintain

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

health

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, doing

exersice

Correct your spelling

exercise

is crucial for our well-being, and it is the individual who is responsible to build a habit of doing regular

exersice

Correct your spelling

exercise

. For these reasons, personal responsibility is

also

Linking Words

equally important for having a healthy lifestyle where

suger

Correct your spelling

sugar

consumption will be reduced. In conclusion,

governtments

Correct your spelling

governments

should control the food quality and make people aware of healthy eating, and individuals should make more informed

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

and do physical activities daily to lead a

heatly

Correct your spelling

healthy

life. Based on the

avobe

Use the right word

above

show examples

reasons,

this

Linking Words

essay concludes that both are responsible for building a healthy nation.

Nahid

Apr 8, 2026

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task response

Answer both sides in a more equal way. The second side is a bit shorter and less full.

task response

Make your opinion very clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.

task response

Add one more clear and real example for each main body paragraph.

task response

Some ideas are good, but a few are too general. Explain how and why in a more direct way.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear 4-part shape, which is good.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words with more care. Sometimes they are good, but sometimes the flow feels a little forced.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one main idea in each paragraph and develop it step by step.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are long and hard to follow. Shorter sentences can make your meaning clearer.

task response

You answered both views and gave your own opinion.

task response

Your main point is clear: both the government and people have a role.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Most paragraphs stay on the topic and have a clear focus.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

excessive consumption
public health
regulate
sugar content
food labeling
sugar tax
nutritional information
educate
personal responsibility
autonomy
freedom of choice
informed choices
health campaigns
dietary habits
well-being

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Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think it is government responsibility to limit people's sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual's responsibility to limit the amount of suger they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.