IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit the workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The use of technology has offered the possibility of remote
work
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote
work
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 brings more advantages than drawbacks for both employers and
workers
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. Especially in big cities where the commuting
time
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 can take up to a third of the day, it is,
obsviously
Correct your spelling
obviously
, beneficial for the employee to be able to
work
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 from
home
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 and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
this
Linking Words
time
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 added to their resting
time
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 or even to exercise or have some quality
time
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 with the family. A survey made in São Paulo, the largest city in Latin America, shows that the average
time
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 spent commuting from
home
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 to
work
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 is two hours and 30 minutes. The main problem is, added to that,
workers
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 have to deal with public transport delay and
stressfull
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stressful
 situations that could be
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoided
show examples
 if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
they had a chance to
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is already known that working from
home
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 brings advantages not only to the
workers
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 but
also
Linking Words
 to the company. A
norwegian
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Norwegian
show examples
 study shows that
business
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businesses
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 that adopted remote
work
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 had
signficant
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significant
 productivity
gain
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gains
show examples
,
as well as
Linking Words
 better results and higher engagement
overall
Linking Words
. The research
also
Linking Words
 showed that remote
workers
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 tend to be more grateful for their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and less vulnerable to mental health issues. In conclusion, I believe that companies should take the opportunity given by technology and rethink
about
Change preposition
apply
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their
organizational
Change the spelling
organisational
show examples
 culture, in order to enable their workforce
of working
Wrong verb form
to work
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 remotely and
consequently
Linking Words
offering
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offer
show examples
 better conditions and
having
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have
show examples
 better results too.

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task response
For task response, answer the question more directly. Say clearly how much you agree, and keep this clear in all body parts.
task response
For task response, develop your ideas more. You explain worker benefits well, but employer benefits need a fuller explanation.
task response
For task response, your examples are helpful, but make the link to the main question more clear each time.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. This is good. But some linking is not smooth.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar and word form errors. Shorter sentences may help.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make each body part focus on one main idea, then add support in a clear order.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep the same main view in the conclusion.
task response
You use real examples and study results, which helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs, and the conclusion closes the essay well.
coherence and cohesion
Words like 'Especially', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' help guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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