Some people think that students should spend more time studying academic subjects, while others believe they should spend more time on extracurricular activities such as sports and hobbies. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, there is a debate about whether
students
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should focus more on academic
subjects
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or spend more time on extracurricular
activities
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. Both views have their own advantage, and many people have different opinions about
this
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issue in modern society. On the one hand, studying academic
subjects
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is very important for
students
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.
Subjects
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like math, science, and language help
students
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to gain knowledge and prepare for their
future
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career
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careers
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. If
students
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spend more time studying, they can get better grades and have more
opportunity
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opportunities
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in the
future
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.
For example
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,
students
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who study hard can enter
to
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apply
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good universities and find better jobs.
Also
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, academic education
help
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helps
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students
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to develop thinking skills and understand the world better, which is important in daily life.
On the other hand
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, extracurricular
activities
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is
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are
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also
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important.
Activities
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such
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as sports, music, and hobbies help
students
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relax and reduce stress after long hours of studying.
In addition
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, these
activities
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can
improves
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improve
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skills like teamwork and communication.
For instance
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, playing sports can make
students
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more healthy and
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healthier and more
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active, and
also
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help them build strong relationships with others. These
activities
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can
also
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increase
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students
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students'
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confidence and make them more social. In my opinion,
students
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should have a balance between studying and extracurricular
activities
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. Focusing only on studies can make
students
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feels
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feel
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tired,
while
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only doing
activities
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can affect their academic performance.
Therefore
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, both are important for student development and
future
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success. In conclusion, academic
subjects
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are necessary for
future
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success,
while
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extracurricular
activities
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are useful for personal growth. A balance between the two
are
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is
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the best solution

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You did this, but your own view can be stronger and more clear.
task response
Use more specific examples. Your sport example is good, but it is still quite general.
task response
Explain why balance is best with one more clear reason.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear 4-part structure, which is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some are good, like 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each main point a little more so the ideas feel more fully supported.
task response
You answered both views and gave your opinion.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are logical and easy to understand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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