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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two bar charts below show the proportion of 14-to 16-year-old students studying a foreign language in an English speaking country, and the top three foreign languages. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph below
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 key information about the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 who
studying
Verb problem
are studying
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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foreign languages between 1984 to 2207. It is clear
this
Linking Words
incloudes
Correct your spelling
includes
 parts ,
such
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 as French, German, and Spanish. The value is measured by percentage. The parts
determine
Wrong verb form
are determined
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 by colours.
Thus
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 , all of them have significant changes.
According to
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 what is shown , the highest alternation
recorded
Verb problem
was recorded
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 at the Frinsh class. As we can
see
Punctuation problem
see,
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 the number was over 57% in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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both years.
Secoundly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, Germany had increased from 20% to 25%.
Lastly
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 ,
Spanish
Check wording
the number of students in Spanish
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raised with
Verb problem
rose by
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 almost 6% only during these years
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 in
2007
Punctuation problem
2007,
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 the
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of students were 10%.
To sum up
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 , we
cloud
Use the right word
could
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 say there is a huge
differents
Replace the word
difference
 between the
both
Correct determiner usage
two
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 genders. It
is
Verb problem
apply
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seems that girls prefer to learn new languages more than boys. The averages was 58%
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and 30% for the boys.
On the other hand
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 , the lowest alternation was in 2007 for both genders.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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