IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information on the birth rate among women in England, from 1973 to 2020. The figures are measured in births per 1000 women.

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The graph shows a
detiales
Correct your spelling
detail
 of
Use synonyms
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
 range among
femal
Correct your spelling
females
 in
england
Fix capitalization
England
show examples
, over
period
Correct article usage
a period
show examples
 of 47 years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 is
clear
Correct article usage
a clear
show examples
 shift in
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
birth
Fix the agreement mistake
births
show examples
 between
aged
Replace the word
the ages of
 25-34, and
aged
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
20-25
withen
Correct your spelling
within
 years, which means the changing of mind for those women over time and
also
Linking Words
 the effect of jobs and society in giving
birth
Use synonyms
 at
younger
Correct article usage
a younger
show examples
 age.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 older
ages
Use synonyms
remaine
Correct your spelling
remain
 stable for
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 period.
According to
Linking Words
 what
showen
Correct your spelling
shown
,
Under
Fix capitalization
under
show examples
 20 and over 40 are
ages
Use synonyms
had
Correct pronoun usage
that had
show examples
 nigligble amount of
birth
Use synonyms
 rate change from 1972 to 2020 started below 20k and
end
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 at the same value
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 in older
ages
Use synonyms
to
Punctuation problem
, to
show examples
 end up almost zero in 2020.
In contrast
Linking Words
, middel aged
femals
Check wording
apply
show examples
20-25 were the highest in 1973 by 120
k
Use synonyms
 newborn
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 dramatically to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
20k in 2020
,In
Punctuation problem
. On the
show examples
 other hand, women
at
Correct word choice
aged
show examples
ages
Use synonyms
 of 28-34 began in 1973 20k and
sow
Wrong verb form
saw
show examples
 a small rise to
reche
Correct your spelling
reach
 almost 50k
until
Change preposition
by
show examples
2001
Punctuation problem
2001,
show examples
 overtook orang figure to end up
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 of all in 2020

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, ages, k with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • birth rate
  • women aged 15 to 44
  • births per 1000 women
  • rise
  • fall
  • go up
  • go down
  • increase
  • decrease
  • peak
  • lowest point
  • highest point
  • figure
  • rate
  • trend
  • overall
  • at the start
  • at the end
  • during the period
  • remain stable
  • change a lot
  • slight rise
  • sharp fall
  • gradual decrease
  • reach a peak
  • drop again
  • compared with
  • higher than
  • lower than
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