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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the percentage of 15-year-olds with low literacy (reading and writing) levels in four countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features making comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph illustrates information on low literacy
level
Use synonyms
 amongst teenagers who are 15 years old in
Austria
Use synonyms
,
Denmark
Use synonyms
,
Ireland
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of 15-year-olds who have low literacy increased in
Austria
Use synonyms
,
Ireland
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
those
Fix the agreement mistake
that
show examples
 of
Denmark
Use synonyms
 decreased.
Sweden
Use synonyms
 started off at a marginally higher
level
Use synonyms
 than
Ireland
Use synonyms
, albeit ending at the same
level
Use synonyms
. At the beginning of the period, the lines that
represents
Correct subject-verb agreement
represent
show examples
 data of
Austria
Use synonyms
 and
Denmark
Use synonyms
 converged and intersected at approximately 17% in around 2001.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, they diverged by 2003. After that
year
Punctuation problem
year,
show examples
 the graph of
Austria
Use synonyms
 stayed relatively stable, recording a slight decrease followed by a significant upsurge between 2006 and 2009. The figures of
Denmark
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 continued dropping constantly and finished off at just over 15%, reaching its lowest point during the period. The figures of
Sweden
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 and
Ireland
Use synonyms
 were nearly parallel from 2000
and
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2003, when the low literacy
level
Use synonyms
 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 increased slightly,
while
Linking Words
 in
Ireland
Use synonyms
 it stayed relatively stable. Between 2003 and
2006
Punctuation problem
2006,
show examples
 they
were subjected to go
Verb problem
went
show examples
 up moderately. After
2006
Punctuation problem
2006,
show examples
 the figures of
Sweden
Use synonyms
 continued rising, whilst those of
Ireland
Use synonyms
 soared.
Ireland
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 surpassed
Austria
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 (in around 2008 and 2007, respectively) and culminated at roughly 18
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words level, austria, denmark, ireland, sweden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Literacy levels
  • Percentage
  • 15-year-olds
  • Low literacy
  • Reading and writing skills
  • Trends and patterns
  • Comparison
  • Significant differences
  • Similarities
  • Education systems
  • Socio-economic conditions
  • Main findings
  • Improvements
  • Positive trends
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