In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the aruguments in favour of shoeter school holidays?

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In the contemporary world, it is often said that the summer vacations of schools,
such
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as primary and secondary
schools
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schools,
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are long for two months or more,
while
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some people claim that
this
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vacation should be shorter. In
this
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essay, I will explain the benefits of it and
shorter
Correct article usage
a shorter
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one. It is not deniable that students spend
valueble
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valuable
time with their family during the long summer holidays . There are some kids who have relatives staying
long
Rephrase
far
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away from them.
Utilizing
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Utilising
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these times, they could have
opportunites
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opportunities
to meet and
intract
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interact
with them.
Moreover
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, it gives them to opprotunities to travel somewhere.
For instance
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, going and studying abroad generally
take
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takes
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people long hour so it is
best
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the best
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time for those who
loves
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love
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overseas.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You write about long holidays, but you do not really explain why short holidays can be good.
coherence and cohesion
Add a clear ending. Your essay has an opening, but it does not have a real conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each body part, then add a reason and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow with simple link words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
task response
Give more clear and full examples. Your example about travel is not easy to understand.
task response
You introduce the topic and show that you want to discuss both sides.
task response
You give one clear benefit of long holidays: more family time.
coherence and cohesion
You use some link words like moreover and for instance.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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