You are temporarily moving to a new city for your job. You will be there for three months, and you would like to rent some accommodation for your stay. Write to an accommodation rental office. In your letter •Tell them how long you are staying. •Describe the type of accommodation you would like. •Explain what facilities you will need nearby.

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Dear rental service, Hello,Ms Sara. I'm writing
this
Linking Words
to formally request renting an apartment since I moved in recently.
Moreover
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, I want to find a rental office that I can work in during the time I will be staying in the city .
While
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residing in the city, i respectly asking to have a quiet neighbourhood, and I want my apartment to be next to a supermarket and a garden if it's possible.
In addition
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, Well, maybe you are wondering how long I will be staying in the district? I will be here for three months in total.
Furthermore
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, there are some important things that I personally adore and i perfer it to be in my apartment .
First,
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I would like it to be wide and consider two floors .
Also
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, I love some futuristic designs in my home .
In contrast
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, I really admire plants
also
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.
Overall
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, there are some qualities that I would rather it be near my place. I mentioned at first the important things I want it to be close to me, but there are a few things I want to add to it.
Firstly
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, I want to be near a shopping mall or a centre.
Next,
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I would like to have a pharmacy next to the architecture. Thanks for reading my request Best regards, Mrs JWah.

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task response
Answer each part more clearly. Say the time, home type, and near places in a direct way.
task response
Use a more even formal tone. Do not mix very casual lines with formal lines.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph. This will make the letter easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words like first, also, and finally. Some parts now do not join well.
task response
You covered all three bullet points in the task.
coherence and cohesion
You used a clear opening and ending for a letter.
coherence and cohesion
The reader can understand your main needs for the home and area.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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