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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the aruguments in favour of shoeter school holidays?

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In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more during the summer.
While
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 long
holidays
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 provide clear benefits for
students
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, there are
also
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 strong arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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 of shorter, more frequent
breaks
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. On the one hand, extended
holidays
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 allow
students
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 to spend quality time with their families, engage in outdoor activities, and recover from the pressures of academic life.
For example
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, in Korea,
students
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 often have little opportunity for exercise during the semester
due to
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 heavy study schedules and commuting between school and private academies. Long
breaks
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Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, therefore
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therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
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 offer valuable chances for physical activity, emotional growth, and travel experiences that cannot be achieved through classroom learning alone. In
this
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 sense, long
holidays
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 contribute to the holistic development of children.
On the other hand
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, long
breaks
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 can create difficulties for working parents, especially those with younger children who require constant supervision. Many parents cannot take extended leave from work, making childcare arrangements challenging.
Moreover
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, long
holidays
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 may disrupt
students
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’ learning continuity, leading to knowledge loss and the need for revision when school resumes. Shorter but more frequent
holidays
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 could reduce these problems by balancing rest with consistent academic progress. They
also
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 make it easier for parents to manage childcare through shorter periods of paid leave. In conclusion, long school
holidays
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 provide
students
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 with rest, recreation, and family bonding, but shorter
breaks
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 may better suit modern family structures and educational needs. A balanced approach, combining adequate rest with academic continuity, may be the most effective solution.

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task response
Add one more clear example for the idea about short breaks to make your point stronger.
task response
Explain a little more why shorter holidays help learning, not only parents.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few linking words between ideas in the second body paragraph to make the flow even smoother.
coherence and cohesion
You can make one sentence shorter in the second paragraph so each idea stands out more clearly.
task response
You answer both parts of the question clearly.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to understand and stay on topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear opening, body, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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