IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for university lecturer describing the information shown below.

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The given graph shows the unemployment rates in two countries, the US and
Japn
Correct your spelling
Japan
. It indicates between March 1993 and March 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
 in
theUnited
Correct your spelling
the United
 States peaked in March
1993
Punctuation problem
1993,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the other rated the lowest at the same time. The US was 7.0
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 was 2.4
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. Two countries show the
oppoiste
Correct your spelling
opposite
 path, which the US keeps decreasing whreas
Japan
Use synonyms
 steadily goes up. Between 1998 and 1999, both nations'
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 met at one point, numbered 4.5 respectively.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the line, in 1999,
Japan
Use synonyms
 rated slightly higher than the US
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 the gap between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 countries was only 0.5, 4.7 to 4.0.
Japan
Use synonyms
's unemployment rate rapidly increased in 1998,
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
 0.5 in a year.
Japan
Use synonyms
 haven't shown a visible movement of
decreasing
Correct article usage
a decreasing
show examples
number of
Check wording
apply
show examples
workforce.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rates
  • graph
  • trend
  • changes
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • findings
  • observations
  • data
  • statistics
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