IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries, the number of university students studying science is decreasing. Some people believe the government should encourage more people to take science courses. Other people say that it is private industry’s responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The
Correct determiner usage
Science
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the most significant
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 for developing the industries of county. Nowadays, in some
counties
Use the right word
countries
show examples
, the percentage of
collage
Use the right word
college
show examples
 students
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are learning
science
Use synonyms
 is dropping. Some individuals argue
the
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 applying
science
Use synonyms
 lecture has to be encouraged
more
Change preposition
by policies to encourage more
show examples
 people to listen
by policies
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Meanwhile, other people believe that it is the duty of the private sector.
This
Linking Words
 essay will deal with both opinions. On the one hand, giving more effort and
suppor
Correct your spelling
support
 to the
science
Use synonyms
 would be great in govermenets view because developments of
science
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 strongly connected with the current society
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
healthy
Replace the word
health
, technology,
education
Correct word choice
and education
show examples
. If the
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
 do not motivate
to
Check wording
pupils to
show examples
 participate in
science
Use synonyms
, the rate of pupils will consistently decrease for future.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 problem will become
serious
Correct article usage
a serious
show examples
iusses
Correct your spelling
issue
 for
nationl
Correct your spelling
national
 businesses
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of growth of crucial technology
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 makes
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 life for people and
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
 skills of
soldier
Check wording
soldiers
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
overflowing
Correct article usage
an overflowing
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 population
for
Correct word order
of students in science
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 studying can cause some problems which lead to
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
information
leak
Correct subject-verb agreement
leaks
show examples
. When lots of skills are
taught
Punctuation problem
taught,
show examples
 it is difficult to keep secrets of national
technologies
Punctuation problem
technologies,
show examples
Linking Words
as well as it
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 can
allow
Rephrase
also allow
show examples
 negative results for main
companies finanlcial iusses
Correct your spelling
companies' financial issues
.
Hence
Linking Words
, it has a risk to encourage a lot from the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
. In conclusion, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
points have a positive and negative side.
However
Linking Words
, taking
science
Use synonyms
 skills can bring better
plus
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
options for contry itself and having a good plan for
science
Use synonyms
 will be one way to keep and provide risks.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly and give your own view in a direct way.
task response
Use main ideas that are easy to follow. Explain each idea with one clear reason.
task response
Add one real and simple example for each side.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part have one main point only.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words like On the one hand, On the other hand, For example, Therefore, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it.
task response
You wrote about both sides of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraph breaks.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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