IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts give information about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates two types of TV shows watched by
male
Check wording
males
show examples
 and female and
also
Linking Words
 four distinct age groups in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, men watch
game
Use synonyms
 shows more than women
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; however
show examples
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 comparison changes to the opposite in reality shows.
Altought
Correct your spelling
Although
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the
group
Use synonyms
 of 25-34 watch
game
Use synonyms
 shows the least
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the other category age
group
Use synonyms
 of 16-24
hasn't got
Rephrase
has no
show examples
 interest in reality
shows
Punctuation problem
shows,
show examples
 meanwhile older people (45+)
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 the lead in both shows. In reality shows,
female gender
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 watch 70%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 number is approximately less than half (around 35%) in
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
 gender. 16-24
group
Use synonyms
 watch just above 50%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 percentage
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 to 60% in
25
Correct article usage
the 25
show examples
-34
group
Use synonyms
, 35-44 and 45+ have a similar proportion
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 just under 70%
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 45+ watch a little more than 35-44. In
game
Use synonyms
 shows, both genders watch approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 around 60%.
The half
Correct determiner usage
Half
show examples
 of the 16-24
ages
Check wording
age group
show examples
 watch
game
Use synonyms
 shows
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
this
Linking Words
 number
drop
Correct subject-verb agreement
drops
show examples
 to roughly 40% in
25
Correct article usage
the 25
show examples
-34
ages
Check wording
age group,
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
percentage
Punctuation problem
percentage,
show examples
 the 25-34
is
Check wording
age group is
show examples
 the least
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the other groups. 35-44 watch a bit more
then
Linking Words
 previous age
group
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 more than 40%
this
Linking Words
 proportion rose dramatically to 70% in
45+
Correct article usage
the 45+
show examples
ages
Check wording
age group
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words game, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • viewership
  • genre
  • preference
  • demographic
  • age group
  • percentage
  • comparison
  • trend
  • balanced interest
  • inclination
  • significant difference
  • overwhelmingly
  • predominantly
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