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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart shows the estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender in 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The following bar chart represents the
figure
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number
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 of people of two genders who
can’t
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cannot
 read
nor
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or
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 write in six different regions in 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is quite obvious that
females
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 were more illiterate than
males
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 in every region. To start with, the percentage of the illiterate was as low as only 1% for
males
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 and 2% for
females
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 in developed countries.
Similarly
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, Latin America/Caribbean
also
Linking Words
 showed relatively low figures, at around 10% of
males
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 and 12% of
females
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 being illiterate. In terms of East Asia/Oceania, the illiteracy rate among
males
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 was slightly under 10%,
while
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 the figure
of
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for
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females
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 was significantly higher at 20%. Moving to Sub-Saharan Africa, the figure of people
that
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who
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 couldn’t read
nor
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or
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 write in
this
Linking Words
 region was slightly over 30% in men and almost 50% in women. In Arab states, the percentage of illiterate men and women was
at
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apply
show examples
approximately 29% and 53%, respectively. For the
last
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 region, South Asia, the illiteracy rate ranked
the
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apply
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first,
Linking Words
compared to all other regions. The figures were approximately 35% for
males
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 and 56% for
females
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words females, males with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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