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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many employers are employing people with good social skills as well as good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that good social skille are as important as good qualifications to succeed in a job ?

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It is undeniable that employing
people
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 with good social
skills
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as well as
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 good
qualification
Check wording
qualifications
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 has become increasingly significant in our modern society. Many
people
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 discuss its impact and debate whether its benefits outweigh its drawbacks. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of employing
people
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 with good social
skills
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as well as
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 good
qualification
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qualifications
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, and
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will provide my own perspective on
this
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 issue .
To begin
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 with, there are several notable advantages to good social skille are as important as good qualifications.
Firstly
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, it
important
Verb problem
is important
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 to have
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employe
Correct your spelling
employees
 with good social
skills
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it
Correct word choice
, as it
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 helps
how to
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them
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 communicate with different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of
people
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 , which can greatly contribute to
have
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having
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 many new
coustmers
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customers
 because of having
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employe
Correct your spelling
employees
 who have good social
skills
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 .
For instance
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,
company
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a company
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 how have employees
social
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with social
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skills
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can achieve more goals
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 snoono market they focus on social
skills
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 .
Furthermore
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, it encourages a major development is underway , which is particularly beneficial for many customers.
On the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks that should not be overlooked. One major disadvantage is that some
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employe
Correct your spelling
employees
 don't use their social
skills
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 with the customers, which
many
Verb problem
can
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 lead to
frustrate
Replace the word
frustrated
 customers .
For example
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, Qatar
worke
Correct your spelling
works
 shops
they
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apply
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close there complain after just one year
from
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of
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 opening .
In addition
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,
they
Correct determiner usage
their
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 salaries are high because there aren't many of them in
job
Correct article usage
the job
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 market. , which can negatively affect them because they receive high salaries. In conclusion,
while
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it is clear that
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 employing
people
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 with good social
skills
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as well as
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 good qualifications offers a number of advantages, it is equally important to acknowledge its potential disadvantages. Personally, I believe that the benefits outweigh
tha
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the
 drawbacks if everybody
no
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knows
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 how to use
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employe
Correct your spelling
employee
 social
skills
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 .
Therefore
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, it is essential to adopt appropriate measures to
maximize
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maximise
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 the positive impact and
minimize
Change the spelling
minimise
show examples
 any negative consequences.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree in the introduction and keep this idea in all body parts.
task response
Use ideas that match the question. The question asks if social skills are as important as qualifications, so compare both more clearly.
task response
Give clearer main ideas. Each body part should have one main point and then explain it step by step.
task response
Use real and clear examples. Your examples are hard to understand, so make them short, specific, and linked to your point.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between sentences smoother. Use simple words like first, also, for example, however, and therefore in the right place.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph focus. Some sentences do not fit well with the main idea of the paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the topic words many times. Use simple changes like workers, staff, team, or candidates.
coherence and cohesion
Write complete and clear sentences. Some parts are hard to follow because the grammar breaks the flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear essay shape with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to show both sides and give your own view at the end.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like firstly, for instance, on the other hand, and in conclusion.
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