The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an everage english home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph illustrates that typical daily demand for
electricity
Use synonyms
in England in winter and summer
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the pie chart exhibits
what the
Rephrase
how
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electricity
Use synonyms
is used
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in English
household
Check wording
households
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. The line graph is measured by units of
electricity
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
electricity
Use synonyms
demand
around
Verb problem
is around
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double in winter than
summer
Change preposition
in summer
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,
while
Linking Words
the
most
Rephrase
apply
show examples
highest proportion of
electricity
Use synonyms
is consumed for heating rooms and water.
While
Linking Words
English people use the most
electricity
Use synonyms
(just under 50k) from 9pm to 12am in winter,
there are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the largest amount of that(
approximatley
Correct your spelling
approximately
20k) is used from noon to 3pm and from 9pm to 12am in summer.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
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the other hand, they use
electricity
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
lowest from 9am to 9am both(just above 30k and around 15k respectively).
Moreover
Linking Words
, English use
electricity
Use synonyms
for heating the most, which
is accounted
Wrong verb form
accounts
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for more than half.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, k with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overall
  • demand
  • electricity use
  • winter
  • summer
  • typical day
  • higher than
  • lower than
  • rise
  • fall
  • drop slightly
  • climb sharply
  • reach a peak
  • evening peak
  • midnight
  • early morning
  • middle of the day
  • about 9 pm
  • pattern
  • similar
  • far below
  • pie chart
  • largest share
  • average English home
  • heating rooms and water
  • ovens, kettles and washing machines
  • lighting
  • TV and radio
  • vacuum cleaners
  • account for
  • proportion
  • comparison
  • main feature
  • it is clear that
  • likely related to
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