IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You want to book a hotel that one of your friends recommended to you for a family holiday at the seaside. Write a letter to the hotel manager to make arrangements. In your letter, explain what accommodation you require and when you want to stay ask what will be included in the price enquire about activities and places of interest near the hotel

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Dear Hotel Manager,
This
Linking Words
 email is regarding
to book
Wrong verb form
booking
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 a
beach side
Correct your spelling
beachside
 view double
bed room
Correct your spelling
bedroom
 in Green Valley Resort from 22nd to 28th March of
this
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 month. My flight will arrive early morning at maldives airport.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 I will be able to
checkin
Replace the word
check in
 at
hotel
Correct article usage
the hotel
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 around 11:00 AM. My children are interested in many water activities
such
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 as scuba diving, snorkeling and sea walking provided through the
resort
Check wording
resort's
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 addon services. As per
referral
Correct article usage
a referral
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 from my friend, I heard that recently you started one day group tour to nearby places for
sight seeing
Correct your spelling
sightseeing
. We wanted to attend saturday DJ night show near sea shore and navy meuseum on Sunday. Kindly, revert back to me with all details for the costs
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 accommodation
as well as
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 extra activities in the mentioned itinerary
along with
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 any discounts if applicable for families. Please leave a message either through
mail
Check wording
email
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 or
whatsapp
Fix capitalization
WhatsApp
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 message with
further
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 details. Yours faithfully, Sairahul

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task response
Answer all three points more clearly. Say the room type, number of people, and exact dates in a full way.
task response
Ask directly what is in the price, such as meals, airport pick up, and water activities.
task response
Use a more polite tone with clear request lines, for example: I would be grateful if you could tell me...
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph. This will make the letter easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like also, because, and, and please.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the order close to the question: stay details, price details, then local activities.
task response
You included the dates and the kind of room you want.
task response
You asked about local tours and things to do near the hotel.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear opening and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are easy to understand.
Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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