Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

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These days, most part of individuals travel away from their friends and families in order to find a common activity. Despite having some drawbacks,
this
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trend still has more advantages ,
such
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as new opportunities to create a prosperous career. One concerning effect of moving away from their close
people
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is a sense of yearning. In
this
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case,
Most of the
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most
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people
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struggle to live without their family, feeling like losing a piece of their heart, since these
people
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are the ones who galvanise and support them in every situation.
According to
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statistics, almost 65% of
people
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,
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apply
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who moved to far-flung places and have not seen their family for a couple of years are faced with depression, because nothing can substitute the role of close
people
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in our lives. Another contributing drawback is adaptation. New atmosphere, new community make it even more challenging to be relieved, creating a feeling of unfamiliarity. And if they do not communicate with others, it may lead to stress and solitude.
However
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, there are some positive aspects of
this
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trend. One of them is definitely enhanced career opportunities. Once they find high-paid jobs, whicha re unavailable in their hometowns, it can impact
on
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apply
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their financial condition.
Therefore
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, when they come back to the state, they will be able to start up, or continue in the same career path, even in a higher reputation,
due to
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their gained experience and knowledge.
Additionally
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, another positive aspect is personal growth. As they get to know other members who have more experience in their path, they are more likely to push them hard to succeed by sharing knowledge and experiences.
For instance
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, meeting new coworkers can lead to valuable professional connections and future opportunities. The more connections with professionals, the better
chance
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the chance
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to amplify themselves personally. In conclusion,
although
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some drawbacks,
such
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as a feeling of yearning and adaptation,
this
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trend has still more advantages
including
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, including
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being able to be financially stable and boost themselves professionally by meeting more experienced employees.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why the good side is stronger than the bad side.
task response
Add one more clear example for the good side. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few parts are not fully explained. Develop each main point a bit more.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer linking words between ideas, like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'as a result'.
coherence cohesion
Keep your sentences easy to follow. Some parts are hard to read because the wording is not clear.
coherence cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea and support it step by step.
task response
You answer both sides and give your opinion that the good side is stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples like sadness from family distance and better job chances.
coherence cohesion
The overall order of ideas is easy to see.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...
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