IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. one main 1 pollutions noise 2 job opputunityvantages?

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Relocating
big scale of
Correct word choice
large-scale
show examples
 businesses to urban areas may likely show more benefits to
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 community and
governments
Use synonyms
 rather than establishing in the middle hub of
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 city. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and
also
Linking Words
 consider that the merits surpass the drawbacks. One of the
majority
Correct word choice
major
show examples
 benefits of moving big companies to areas
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
located
further
Linking Words
 from the main city is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
pollution
controlling
Replace the word
control
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 To illustrate, the number of
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 of
Co2 are
Correct subject-verb agreement
CO2 is
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 dramatically high
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is affecting to pureness air
quality
Punctuation problem
quality,
show examples
that people
Correct word choice
and
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 could
have got into
Verb problem
lead to
show examples
 illnesses if
this
Linking Words
 issue
can
Wrong verb form
is
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 not
be
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
controlled.
For instance
Linking Words
, people who
resident
Replace the word
reside
 near
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
big corporations and massive operations
tent
Use the right word
tend
show examples
 to have
low
Correct article usage
a low
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 quality of livings
such
Linking Words
 as
noises
Check wording
noise
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many
governments
Use synonyms
 around the different
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the world offer schemes for relocating their business to the
designed
Replace the word
designated
 area where investors have
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
show examples
 restrictions
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 controlling
noises
Check wording
noise
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 or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
massive emission Co2 of
produces
Check wording
CO2
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
 can inject funds to support investors whose establishing
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
 there for tax cuts or reduce rent to persuade them
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 would
benefit
Replace the word
be beneficial
 for individuals and
governments
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, job opportunities may
reach
Verb problem
extend
show examples
 to local communities or people who are unbothered by traffic
congestions
Check wording
congestion
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 distance requires longer to reach.
Linking Words
however
Fix capitalization
However
show examples
, lots of time is saved from
stuck
Verb problem
being stuck
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic for ages.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
 to economic growth
due to
Linking Words
 having more investors who are looking for potential
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
 more profits from these schemes by tax cuts and saving up
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of rental. In conclusion, relocation of businesses has many advantages as opposed to drawbacks
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I would highly suggest
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 business community relocate in the near future.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why moving is good, and also show at least one bad side before you say why the good side is stronger.
task response
Make your main idea very clear in each body paragraph. Start with one clear topic sentence, then explain it, then give one example.
task response
Use more specific examples. For example, name what kind of jobs, what kind of pollution, and how local people can benefit.
coherence and cohesion
Organize ideas in a simpler way. One paragraph can be about pollution and noise, and one paragraph can be about jobs and money.
coherence and cohesion
Link sentences with easy words like first, also, for example, because, however, and in conclusion. Some links in the essay are not used well now.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some sentences are hard to follow. Clear sentences help the essay flow better.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep this opinion to the end.
task response
You talk about key ideas like pollution, noise, jobs, traffic, and support from government.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use examples to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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