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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph below shows the oil production and consumption in China between 1982 and 2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The graph illustrates the
oil
Use synonyms
 production and
consumption
Use synonyms
 in
China
Use synonyms
 throughout the period from 1982 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
oil
Use synonyms
 aspects in
China
Use synonyms
 exhibited different trends over the given time, both of them followed an upward trajectory.
However
Linking Words
, the pace of growth varied
,
Punctuation problem
; the
show examples
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
oil
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 showed a more rapid increase than
production
Correct article usage
the production
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 of
oil
Use synonyms
. As the graph shows,
China
Use synonyms
's production of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oil
Use synonyms
 began at around 2
million
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 in 1982,
then
Linking Words
 remained stable between 1986 and 1994
to
Change preposition
at
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 just around 3
million
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, it showed a gradual rise from 1998 to 2006 at approximately 3.5
million
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
China
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's
consumption
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oil
Use synonyms
 commenced at around 2
million
Use synonyms
 by 1982,
then
Linking Words
stabilized
Change the spelling
stabilised
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 for 9 years. There was a significant climb to almost 4
million
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 in 1998, a figure which continued the upward trend until the end of 2006 to almost 6.5
million
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, which was the highest level of
consumption
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 in
China
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words oil, consumption, china, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • oil production
  • oil consumption
  • gradual increase
  • surpass
  • overtake
  • reliance on imports
  • disparity
  • steady rise
  • growing gap
  • significant
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