IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The school library is seeking applicants for a job over summer break. Write a letter to the library’s manager, in your letter include: – A brief introduction of yourself – Your experience and relevant skills – Why you want the job

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Dear Sir, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 to express my interest in joining your
library
Use synonyms
 over summer break. My name is Sam, and
graduated
Correct pronoun usage
I graduated
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Humber
college
Fix capitalization
College
show examples
.
Luckly
Correct your spelling
Luckily
, I saw your ad yesterday in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
"The Globe News", where you mentioned that you are seeking applicants at
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
library
Use synonyms
. In my back country, I worked in the city
library
Use synonyms
, where I helped people to find
books
Use synonyms
, maintained cleanliness, and
organized
Change the spelling
organised
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 on shelves.
Also
Linking Words
, I prefer honesty, dedication, and communication skills in my work, and I will help students to find useful
books
Use synonyms
 for reading. I want to join your
library
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 because I love reading
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and the environment it offers. I want to help students to find those
books
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 which will be interesting
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and quite engaging. I believe you will consider me
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a valuable candidate, and I hope to meet you soon. I look forward to your prompt response. Yours faithfully, Sam

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add a bit more about your skills and why you fit this job well.
task response
Task response: Some word choices are not right. Use clear and direct ideas.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences feel a bit broken.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each paragraph.
task response
You cover the three points from the task.
task response
Your tone is polite and fits a formal letter.
coherence cohesion
You use good letter form with greeting and ending.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow most of the time.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • I am writing to apply for...
  • I am a student in...
  • I have experience in...
  • I often help with...
  • I am responsible and hard-working.
  • I can work well with others.
  • I am friendly and polite.
  • I enjoy reading and learning.
  • I would like to gain work experience.
  • Thank you for your time and consideration.
  • I look forward to hearing from you.
  • I would be happy to attend an interview.
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