IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The figures give information about economic growth and household expenditure across a range of categories. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The figure shows
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
growth
Use synonyms
 from 1995 to 2010. The second figure shows household
expenditure
Use synonyms
 and how both are connected.
Overall
Linking Words
, economic
growth
Use synonyms
 remained pretty stable throughout
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 with a slight
rise
Use synonyms
 and sharp drop,
while
Linking Words
 housing remained
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 household
expenditure
Use synonyms
 with one decrease in its percentage.  The economic
growth
Use synonyms
 fluctuated from 1995 to 2000. During
this
Linking Words
 period, household
expenditure
Use synonyms
veried
Correct your spelling
varied
 by
ether
Use the right word
either
show examples
 housing or food
taking
Punctuation problem
, taking
show examples
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
expenditure
Use synonyms
. Those changes didn’t affect economic
growth
Use synonyms
 dramatically. In
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
 from 2000 to
2005
Add a comma
2005,
show examples
 economic
growth
Use synonyms
 showed a
slight
Punctuation problem
slight,
show examples
 deep
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 sharp
rise
Use synonyms
, reaching
peak
Correct article usage
a peak
show examples
 in 2005. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 housing grew to the same level as in 1995
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 other categories
subsequently
Linking Words
 changed, especially clothing
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 grew in
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 food dropped
percentage
Change preposition
in percentage
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
 figure 1 line plumed reaching its lowest point of -5 in 2008. Afterwards,
while
Linking Words
 food
expenditure
Use synonyms
 faced a
rise
Use synonyms
, economics faced
Use synonyms
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
 as well.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words growth, expenditure, rise with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: