IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The line graph below
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
show examples
 data about the possibility of the people in four Asian countries living in urban areas between 1970
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2020 , with
guess
Correct article usage
a guess
show examples
 for 2030 and 2040 . I am describing the whole data by choosing and announcing the main characteristics and
makeing
Correct your spelling
making
 differentiation where related.
This
Linking Words
 data is
calibrating
Wrong verb form
calibrated
show examples
 in
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 form .
Overall
Linking Words
 , the highest point of
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 is in 2040 and
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 is in
1970
Punctuation problem
1970,
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
,
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 highest point of
Malaysia
Use synonyms
,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 is in 2040 and
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 is in 1970.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
1970 , in
Correct word order
, in 1970, the Philippines
show examples
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 Phillipines and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 both has same 30% of population living in cities .
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Thailand
Use synonyms
 has 29% and
Use synonyms
Indonesia
Punctuation problem
, Indonesia
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 increased with 1%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Use synonyms
Thailand
Check wording
the number of Thai
show examples
 people increased by 2% .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Phillipines residents
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 from 0.5%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Use synonyms
Malaysia
Check wording
Malaysia's
show examples
 public jumped with 10% .
However
Linking Words
, in 1990
indonesia
Use synonyms
 raise up with 5% and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 lift up with 5% .
While
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
skyrocket
Wrong verb form
skyrocketed
show examples
 with 15% and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 increased with 2% .
In contrast
Linking Words
 , in the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000
indonesia
Use synonyms
 grow up at 25%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Thailand
Use synonyms
 is accent percentage. Where
has
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
Philippines
Use synonyms
 falls with 4%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 skyrocket with 15%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
Use synonyms
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 2010
Thailand
Use synonyms
soar
Wrong verb form
soared
show examples
 with 0.5%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Indonesia
Use synonyms
surge
Wrong verb form
surged
show examples
 with 15%
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 Philippine decrease with
one
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 improve with 10% . In 2020
Philippines
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 improve with
one
Use synonyms
percent
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 raise up with 5%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Thailand
Use synonyms
 is on same population . In
2030
Punctuation problem
2030,
show examples
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 uplift with 5%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
increased with
Wrong verb form
will increase by
show examples
one
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Moving forward to 2040 , in
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
Philippines
Use synonyms
 ,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 leap with
one
Use synonyms
percent
Use synonyms
 and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 with 10% .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words philippines, malaysia, thailand, indonesia, year, one, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "improve" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "skyrocket" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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