IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently ordered a product from an online shopping website. However, when the package arrived, you discovered that the item was damaged and could not be used properly. Write a letter to the company describing the product you purchased, explaining the problem you faced, and stating what action you would like the company to take.

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Dear Sir/Madam, Hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
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 letter to
infrom
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inform
 you that
i
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I
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 have ordered a Cell Phone from your website
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is damaged. Unfortunately,
i
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I
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 cannot use my new phone
and
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, and
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i
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I
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 need
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
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 assistance with my order. I
have
Verb problem
apply
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this
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 ordered
this
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Mobile on
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mobile
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 almost a week ago
but
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, but
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 as soon as
i
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I
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 opened the
box
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box,
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 the screen was completely damaged. Even with the broken screen i tried to turn on the screen
but
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, but
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 it completely failed
and
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, and
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 now
i
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I
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 have no option but to write
this
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 email to you. I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 the company either refund me the whole amount or
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 me the new phone with extra store points as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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compensation.
In addition
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 to
this
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, I urge
to
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apply
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the organisation to find out the reason
of
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for
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this
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 failed delivery. I would humbly say that if you failed to do the
action
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action,
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then
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i
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I
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 have to go to the consumer court with
this
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 matter. I look forward to your prompt response and hope
this
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 matter can be resolved quickly. Yours faithfully, Ayush Shukla

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add a few more clear details about the phone and the order.
task response
Task response: The tone is mostly formal, but do not use strong lines like going to court. Keep it polite and calm.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Put one main point in each part and link ideas with simple words like also, so, and because.
task response
Task response: You clearly say what you bought, what was wrong, and what you want the company to do.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The greeting and closing are correct for a formal letter.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The ideas are easy to follow in order.
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