IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The free movement of of goods Across national borders has long been a controversial issue. Some people argues that it is necessary for economic growth, whilst others claim that it damage local industries. Discuss with both views and gove your opinion.

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Introduction
there
Fix capitalization
There
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 is an
on going
Correct your spelling
ongoing
 debate about the importation of
goods
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
across
show examples
 national
borders
Use synonyms
.
so
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So
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 people think that
this
Linking Words
 is essential as it bring economy
Use synonyms
growth
Punctuation problem
growth,
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whereas
Linking Words
 others believe that it damages local
industies
Correct your spelling
industries
.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
show examples
 essay will examine both views before arguing that
Use synonyms
movement
Correct article usage
the movement
show examples
 of
goods
Use synonyms
Across
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across
show examples
 national
borders
Use synonyms
 is more benefical that the drawbacks.
Body · 1
Linking Words
to
Fix capitalization
To
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 begin with,
importing
Correct article usage
the importing
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 of
goods
Use synonyms
 brings
economy
Replace the word
economic
growth
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
this
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This
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 creates business
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 and
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
growth
Use synonyms
 of infrastructure.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
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 instance kenya, products that are
of
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apply
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loaded in the port
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
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 transportation to
landlock
Replace the word
landlocked
 counties like uganda which
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 employment
of
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for
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 drivers to transport them.
Linking Words
thus
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Thus
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, the
createment
Correct your spelling
creation
 of employment raises the
ecomomy
Correct your spelling
economy
 of the country.
Body · 2
meanwhile
Fix capitalization
Meanwhile
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,
movement
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 of products from abroad countries damages the development and
growth
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 of local
industies
Correct your spelling
industries
.
when
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When
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 products that are made locally are
also
Linking Words
 imported, it
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 a tendancy of lowering the
growth
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 of local industries
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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also
Linking Words
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 the market. kenya
for
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 have a oil refinery at turkana but they still buy oil from mid east
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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affects the
growth
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oil
Change preposition
of oil
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 markets in
kenya
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Kenya
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.
Body · 3
as
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As
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 accounted in the essay
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 essentiality of
movement
Use synonyms
 of
goods
Use synonyms
Across
Fix capitalization
across
show examples
 national
borders
Use synonyms
 is much more than its drawbacks.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
show examples
 demonstrates that the importation can affect the local industries
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it has more beneficiaries.
Conclusion
in
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In
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conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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this
Linking Words
 essay generally argues that
Use synonyms
movement
Correct article usage
the movement
show examples
 of
goods
Use synonyms
Across
Fix capitalization
across
show examples
 national
borders
Use synonyms
 is more
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 than its drawbacks.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more full way. Show why each side is strong before you give your view.
task response
Make your opinion very clear in every body part, not only in the start and end.
task response
Use more clear and real support for your main ideas. Some examples are there, but they need to be explained more.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in a more clear order. Some lines are hard to follow because of grammar and word choice.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care, like 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', 'for example', and 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and then add support for it.
task response
You answered both views and gave your opinion.
task response
You used examples about Kenya and oil to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic paragraph order that is easy to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comparative advantage
  • economic growth
  • global markets
  • job creation
  • unemployment rates
  • consumer benefits
  • competition
  • innovation
  • technology transfer
  • international markets
  • local industries
  • business closures
  • job losses
  • cultural identity
  • consumer preferences
  • economic dependence
  • international supply chains
  • environmental impact
  • carbon emissions
  • resource depletion
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