IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear...

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Dear friend, I hope you are doing well
and
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, and
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 I miss you a lot after you moved schools. But I am feeling so down when you informed me that you feel left out during school hours, which is totally normal
but
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, but
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 since you asked for suggestions, I will let you know exactly what I did when I was having trouble making friends cause I want you to enjoy your school life. First of all, you need to start taking
a
Correct article usage
apply
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part in as many social activities as you can. You can start by just showing up and
ask
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asking
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 the person who prepared that activity about what to expect there
and
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, and
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am
Correct pronoun usage
I'm
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 pretty sure they will hook you up in a group. Another thing you can do is join a club. Especially a sports club cause almost all my friends that I made were through frisbee. It's fun
and
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, and
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 you don't have to talk much
plus
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, plus
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 it's never awkward.
Linking Words
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
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 I think the best advice I can give you on top of
that is
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 you should be your true self so that you are not scared of making any "mistakes"
while
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 you try to
socialize
Change the spelling
socialise
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 with others. Just try to open up or maybe take the first step and say "hi" yourself
instead
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 of waiting for someone else to do it cause sometimes the person in front of us feels the same and is waiting for us to break the ice. Now I want you to do whatever I told you and let the fun begin. Your's truly parter in crime Anmoldeep

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts of the task, but give one more clear idea for extra advice.
task response
Task response: Keep the tone friendly, but avoid lines that sound too strong, like telling your friend to do everything you said.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are in a clear order with good paragraphing. Try to make some long sentences shorter for easier reading.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use correct letter endings and small linking words carefully. For example, write 'Yours truly' and check word forms like 'take part' not 'taking a part'.
task response
Task response: You cover making friends, joining clubs, school activities, and extra advice.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear opening, body, and ending, so it is easy to follow.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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