IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are leaving your job and would like to recommend your friend apply for your position. 
Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: * ·  describe the job * ·  explain the reason you are leaving * ·  tell him/her why you would recommend the job to them

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Dear Sia, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about my life's significant career change
as well as
Linking Words
 to give information about my
job
Use synonyms
. I worked at
Saskatchewan
Correct article usage
the Saskatchewan
show examples
 Health Authority as a Trauma specialist in Regina General Hospital.
This
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 involved researching and
analyzing of
Change the spelling
analysing
show examples
 data to improve patient care in the trauma burn unit.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of my work involved quality improvement projects
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as improving patient experience in the unit and getting information from patients through
survey
Correct article usage
a survey
show examples
 questionnaire. My
job
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 involved
amalgamation
Correct article usage
the amalgamation
show examples
 of data collection, organization and analysis. I suggest you
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
apply for
this
Linking Words
 position as you have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 in data collection and analysis specially related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare. I am moving forward with an exciting
job
Use synonyms
 of disability case management
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Canada Life
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I have been meaning to shift the gears of my careers since long time. The Trauma specialist position is an exciting opportunity as well to enter
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the healthcare sector with your business background. If you require any reference, I will be happy to provide
for
Correct pronoun usage
one for
show examples
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
. I hope all goes well for you. Your's lovingly, Suz

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add a bit more detail about why the work is good for your friend.
task response
Task response: The tone is warm, but some lines sound a bit formal. Keep the style more natural and personal.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are clear, but one long paragraph makes it hard to follow. Split it into 2 or 3 parts.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use simple linking words like also, because, and so to join ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Check the opening and closing. Write 'Yours lovingly' or 'Best wishes' correctly.
task response
Task response: You cover the job, your reason for leaving, and why you recommend it.
task response
Task response: The job details are clear and match your friend's interest.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Most ideas connect well and are easy to understand.
Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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