IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some students in university want to study new or other
subjects
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to their main
subject
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some
one
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 think that it is more important to give all their time and
attention
Use synonyms
 to studying for a qualification. In my opinion, they need to pay
attention
Use synonyms
 to studying their main
subject
Use synonyms
all
Change preposition
at all
show examples
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
. On the one hand,
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 other
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
in addition
Linking Words
 to their main
subjects
Use synonyms
 is great. They can explore themselves to learn more
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
. If they want to have more experience, they can learn new things.
Such
Linking Words
 as my friend,
although
Linking Words
 now she
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 just studied in grade 10, she knew 2 languages is China and
Koria
Correct your spelling
Korean
. I think
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 good
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 she said
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
she is
show examples
 very tired with many
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 in the week.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, just
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
 on
studying
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 main
subject
Use synonyms
 is important. When we know what we want to become, we have aims to
trying on
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 to achieve
this
Linking Words
 goal
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 we will pay
attention
Use synonyms
 to
this
Linking Words
subject
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is only main
subject
Use synonyms
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
make
Verb problem
help
show examples
 me reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my aims? An example, I want to become a doctor, so I must study
chemical
Replace the word
chemistry
, math, physic,… to have knowledge. Actually, to
successful
Verb problem
be successful
show examples
, we have many parth road, by study is the safest and fastest for us to do. With some reason I think,
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 all their time and
attention
Use synonyms
 to studying for a qualification is
importance
Replace the word
more important
 than
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 about other
subjects
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to their main
subjects
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully, then give your view in a clear way.
task response
Add more clear main ideas and explain each one with a simple reason.
task response
Use one good example for each side, and make sure it fits the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Make the order of ideas more clear. Start each body part with one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like On the one hand, On the other hand, For example, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it.
task response
You discussed both sides of the topic.
task response
You gave your own opinion at the end and in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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