Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvatages?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
A lot of people nowadays move away from they famailis and frineds wanting to start a new life, having a new job and a good future. One
advatage
Correct your spelling
advantage
of moving away from family and friends is
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
a lot of free time for work and joy. You can do whatever you want whenever you want. Another advantage is that you can save a lot of money when you live alone. You spend money
onle
Correct your spelling
only
on
your self
Correct your spelling
yourself
. On
another
Correct determiner usage
the other
show examples
hand, living alone far away from your family and friends can be hard
specially
Rephrase
, especially
show examples
if you like to spend your time with your family or friends.
Me personally
Correct pronoun usage
Personally
show examples
, I prefer to live alone. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
I can work in peace and don't worry about anyone bothering me.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more fully. Say clearly if there are more good points or more bad points.
task response
Give one more main idea for each side, or explain your ideas more.
task response
Use a real or clear example to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Group your ideas into clear parts: start, body, end.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words like 'First', 'Also', 'However', and 'In conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Make each sentence connect to the next one in a clear way.
task response
You answer both sides of the question.
task response
Your opinion is clear at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow in most parts.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking ideas like 'Another advantage' and 'On another hand'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • move away
  • job chances
  • higher pay
  • better life
  • support family
  • personal growth
  • independent
  • learn new skills
  • meet new people
  • open-minded
  • feel lonely
  • emotional support
  • family relationships
  • important events
  • keep in touch
  • visit home regularly
  • work-life balance
  • career growth
  • social life
  • sense of belonging
What to do next:
Look at other essays: