A REPORT INDICATED THAT MANY CHILDREN BETWEEN 7 AND 11 SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WATCHING TELEVISION AND / OR PLAY VIDEO GAMES. HOW DOES THE PROBLEM AFFECT THE CHILDREN, THEIR FAMILIES AND SOCIETY? WHAT MEASURES CAN BE TAKEN TO CONTROL IT?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

commonly

Verb problem

is commonly

show examples

believed that using technology for the childeren in their young age

effect

Use the right word

affects

show examples

them in

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

way that will never be acceptable to their

parents

Use synonyms

and society.

This

Linking Words

essay will

disscus

Correct your spelling

discuss

many causes for

this

Linking Words

problem and suggest possible solutions to overcome it.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are several reasons behind

Linking Words

this

Fix the agreement mistake

these

show examples

issues. The first and most obvious cause is the

parents

Use synonyms

unavaliablity with the

children

Use synonyms

for

long

Correct article usage

a long

show examples

time

Use synonyms

and

let

Wrong verb form

letting

show examples

them

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

too much

time

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

, to

show examples

reduce the care needs

Change preposition

show examples

the child.

This

Linking Words

happens because

parents

Use synonyms

spend

Use synonyms

time

Correct determiner usage

more time

show examples

in their

Change preposition

show examples

work

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than

children

Use synonyms

school

Verb problem

spend in school

show examples

time

Use synonyms

so to cover the

gap

Punctuation problem

gap,

show examples

they give them extra

time

Use synonyms

use

Verb problem

watch

show examples

television or play video games. Another significant cause is

today's

Correct word choice

that today's

show examples

house

design

Correct subject-verb agreement

designs

show examples

tend to be modren more

with

Correct word choice

modern, with

show examples

no background or free space to give the

children

Use synonyms

the

opportinity

Correct your spelling

opportunity

to play outside, which leads to

stay with less

Correct determiner usage

fewer

show examples

activities inside

home

Correct article usage

the home

show examples

and using the tecnolgy more

Check wording

use of technology.

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, one article shows 70% of people in Saudi Arabia

prefared

Correct your spelling

preferred

houses with

modren

Correct your spelling

modern

styles to use other than huge

space

Check wording

spaces

show examples

and not used except if celebration their. Turning to possible solutions,

parents

Use synonyms

with long work hours should let their

children

Use synonyms

take courses

or going

Wrong verb form

show examples

gym

Correct article usage

the gym

show examples

or even go to

Correct determiner usage

their grandfather

show examples

grandfather

Check wording

grandfather's

show examples

home after

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school

Punctuation problem

. This

show examples

this

Linking Words

could help

takle

Correct your spelling

tackle

this

Linking Words

issue.

This

Linking Words

means that reducing the hours for

children

Use synonyms

being alone at home

spending

Punctuation problem

, spending

show examples

time

Use synonyms

watching television

Punctuation problem

, or

show examples

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

video

game

Check wording

games

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

, for

family

Check wording

families

show examples

with small

houses

Add a comma

houses,

show examples

they have to schedule a

time

Use synonyms

for the

children

Use synonyms

to visit

naighberhod

Correct your spelling

the neighbourhood

garden to play outside and meet new

children

Use synonyms

to play with

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

should be implemented by the society in each

neighber

Correct your spelling

neighbourhood

. If

such

Linking Words

measure

Fix the agreement mistake

measures

show examples

are taken, the

time

Use synonyms

spending

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

using technology will be

totaly

Correct your spelling

totally

reduced and

increse the

Correct word order

increase the children's

show examples

children

Use synonyms

activity in

other

Check wording

activities other

show examples

than just watching television or

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

video

game

Check wording

games

show examples

. In conclusion, there are various factors that contribute to

this

Linking Words

problem, but effective steps

such

Linking Words

as going to the gym,

or visit

Wrong verb form

visiting

show examples

grandfather after school, or even

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

time

Use synonyms

in gardens can greatly reduce its impact.

justfvryou

Jun 14, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer all parts of the task. You write about causes and solutions, but the task asks how the problem affects children, family, and society, and what can be done.

coherence and cohesion

Make your main ideas more clear. Each body paragraph should have one main idea and explain it well.

task response

Use examples that fit the task more closely. Your example about house style is not very clear or strong.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas in a simple way. Use words like first, also, because, so, and as a result.

task response

Explain the effects more directly. Say what happens to health, study, family time, and social life.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.

task response

You try to give reasons and solutions, which shows good essay planning.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has paragraphing, and this helps the reader follow your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
52
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

346 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
It is said that travel broadens the mind. What can we learn by travelling to other countries? Should we first explore our own countries? What do you think?
Recently there has been quite a lot of discussion about the usage of bank cards during virtual shopping and its advantages surpassing disadvantages overall. I do think that the convenience of timing and easy access to everything made by environmentally friendly click makes everyone draw for online banking; however, the leakage of personal data becomes a thread of possible crimes. In this essay, I will state both the advantages and disadvantages.
7
band
More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today’s modern world, obesity has become a major issue among kids. Being overweight can impact seriously for child’s health being and also may limit physical activity. In this essay, I am going to discuss the reasons for this problem and find the outcomes of this issue.
7.5
band
It is beneficial for both employers and employees if employees are given longer holidays away from work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is often argued that giving longer holidays to employees is beneficial for both employers and employees. I completely agree with this view because having extended leaves increases job satisfaction among employees and helps employers reduce the risk of frequent resignations.
6.5
band
People who damage public property, such as buildings or statues should be required to do community service (such as cleaning parks) as a punishment rather than other forms of punishment (such as paying a fine or going to prison). To what extent do you agree to disagree?
The question of the most appropriate punishment for individuals who damage public property is a matter of ongoing debate. While fines and imprisonment are conventional forms of punishment, the idea of requiring offenders to engage in community service, such as cleaning parks, is gaining prominence. In my view, community service serves as a more constructive and restorative form of punishment, contributing to both the rehabilitation of the offender and the betterment of the community.
6
band
In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Transactions are trackable convenient if no cash available
Nowadays, In many countries, most of the users tend to use online payment apps to purchase every small thing and build a cashless society. In this essay, I am going to discuss this development and give my personal opinion.

A REPORT INDICATED THAT MANY CHILDREN BETWEEN 7 AND 11 SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WATCHING TELEVISION AND / OR PLAY VIDEO GAMES. HOW DOES THE PROBLEM AFFECT THE CHILDREN, THEIR FAMILIES AND SOCIETY? WHAT MEASURES CAN BE TAKEN TO CONTROL IT?

It is said that travel broadens the mind. What can we learn by travelling to other countries? Should we first explore our own countries? What do you think?

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is beneficial for both employers and employees if employees are given longer holidays away from work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

People who damage public property, such as buildings or statues should be required to do community service (such as cleaning parks) as a punishment rather than other forms of punishment (such as paying a fine or going to prison). To what extent do you agree to disagree?

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Transactions are trackable convenient if no cash available