The bar chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart compares the Canadian
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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working in five diffrenents majors industries by percentages in a year of 1980 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest percentages is section of service and manufacturing
.
Check wording
sectors.
show examples
By contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest is
major
Correct article usage
the major
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of
Agricluture
Correct your spelling
Agriculture
/fishing and Energy/Water.
However
Linking Words
, in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
fifty
years
Punctuation problem
years,
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is has been
a
Correct article usage
apply
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big
changed
Replace the word
changes
in all
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in a years of 1980. In a group of Manufacture and Service industry spot on 36 per
cent
Use synonyms
and 33 per
cent
Use synonyms
from all
Change preposition
of the
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population
.
Rephrase
, respectively.
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Alongside
this
Linking Words
, Construction was standing
on
Change preposition
at
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8 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Inspite
Correct your spelling
In spite
of,
major
Correct article usage
the major
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of Agriculture/Fishing and Energy/Water are only 1 per
cent
Use synonyms
from all humans
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of Canadian. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
, Service is highest in 2020.
it
Fix capitalization
It
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is 81 per
cent
Use synonyms
from all
inductries
Use the right word
industries
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Manufacturing and construction
are standing on 9 per
Correct word order
stood at approximately 9 per cent
show examples
cent
Use synonyms
approximately in 2020.
However
Linking Words
, it is just 1 per
cent
Use synonyms
in both sections
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as Fishing and Water majors.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • workforce composition
  • significant shift
  • increase/decrease in percentage
  • service industries
  • manufacturing
  • construction
  • noteworthy trends
  • tech industry
  • economic evolution
  • technological evolution
  • main features
  • comparisons
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