IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

All people should go to university, even if they are not going to use that education In their job. Do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Every individual ought to have high educational knowledge,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 they are not planning to use that education in their job. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, it is crucial to go to
university
Use synonyms
 for
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 education.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
After granduation
Correct your spelling
after graduation
 from high school
Use synonyms
students
Punctuation problem
, students
show examples
 tend to apply to
university
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because individuals have to maintain and expand their
knowledges
Check wording
knowledge
show examples
. It is always essential for
people
Use synonyms
's
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 to solve
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
complicated tasks
Linking Words
moreover
Punctuation problem
; moreover
show examples
, by solving
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
,
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
 will always stay
sharply
Replace the word
sharp
 to solve
another
Correct determiner usage
other
show examples
 tasks.
For example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Kazakhstan tend to chose
university
Use synonyms
 to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quite
excelent
Correct your spelling
excellent
 performances in daily life
Linking Words
consequently
Punctuation problem
; consequently
show examples
,
students
Use synonyms
 are more satisfied
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
university
Use synonyms
 has a positive effect on
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 lifestyle
, i
Punctuation problem
. I
show examples
 believe that all
people
Use synonyms
 should go there.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
university
Use synonyms
 is a beneficial place, where many
people
Use synonyms
 usually go to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new relationships for a very long period.
This
Linking Words
 is because to apply
university
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
force
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to pass the hard exams
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
:
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 IELTS, SAT, TOEFL, and others.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 are quite clever
that is
Linking Words
 the main reason for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good relationships
in there
Change preposition
among them
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in high institution
Use synonyms
students
Punctuation problem
, students
show examples
 are more
actively
Replace the word
active
 and
with a
Verb problem
have
show examples
 high academic performences
in addition
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 will try to keep their relations to a long time.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 has a lot of benefits
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's connections. In conclusion, all
people
Use synonyms
 should go to the
university
Use synonyms
 even if they don't
going
Wrong verb form
plan
show examples
 to use their
knowledges
Check wording
knowledge
show examples
 in
dailylife
Correct your spelling
daily life
; it is important to have a sharp brain and good connections
between the
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main idea more clear in each body part.
task response
Explain your examples more so they clearly support your opinion.
task response
Stay close to the question all the time. Focus on why all people should go to university, not only on general good points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences feel hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main point and full support.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep the same view to the end.
task response
You include two main reasons, so your answer is complete enough.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic structure: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like firstly, secondly, therefore, and in conclusion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: