IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The chart shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 in Britain in three periods. From
this
Linking Words
 chart,
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 clear that the
number
Use synonyms
 of people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 take part-time
education
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more than the
full-time
Check wording
number who take full-time
show examples
education
Use synonyms
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 the first
period
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of males in
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 is about 1100
thousands
Use synonyms
 person, 100
thousands
Use synonyms
 of them in full-time
education
Use synonyms
, and the
number
Use synonyms
 of females
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 about 800
thousands
Use synonyms
 female, 50
thousands
Use synonyms
 of them in full-time
education
Use synonyms
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 the second
period
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
males and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
females is almost the same, but the
number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
females in full-time
education
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more than
the
Correct pronoun usage
that of
show examples
 males.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
, the
nubemr
Correct your spelling
number
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women in
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
more
Verb problem
was more
show examples
 than the
number
Use synonyms
 of men.
we
Fix capitalization
We
show examples
 can conclude from
this
Linking Words
 that the
number
Use synonyms
 of women in
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing every
period
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of people in full-time
education
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing every
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, education, period, thousands with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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