IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Number of Internet Users per 100 people 50 4T 44 42 39 40 35 30 25 20 15 10 22 20 23 14 14 15 16 10 Greece Portugal Ireland Belgium France Germany Austria Netherlands Denmark Sweden

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The bar chart compares the percentage of people who used the internet across ten European
countries
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 in 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest fraction of netizens was seen in Sweden,
while
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 Greece had the lowest share.
To begin
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, upon inspection of
countries
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 with over 20% usage, Sweden accounted for 44%
users
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, and
this
Linking Words
 was the highest share. Following Sweden,
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
, Denmark and Finland recorded
similarly
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 high proportions of 39%, 41% and 42% respectively.
However
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, for Germany, Austria and the United Kingdom, it had been recorded between 20% to 25%.
Furthermore
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, for
countries
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 with fewer than 20% internet
users
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, the lowest proportion was in Greece, and
this
Linking Words
 was at 7% of the population surfing the net. Ranking among the
countries
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 with the fewest number of
users
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per100
Correct your spelling
per 100
 people, Portugal and Spain had fewer than 11% web surfers.
In contrast
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, Ireland and the remaining
countries
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' population accounted for between 14% and 18% internet
users
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.

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task response
Task response: Check the data more carefully. You changed some country names and numbers, so the report is not fully correct.
task response
Task response: Give a clear overview with the main trends only. You did this, but make sure all key groups are right.
task response
Task response: Use only the countries in the chart. Do not add Finland, the United Kingdom, or Spain if they are not shown.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start and two body parts, so the order is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some linking is good, but a few lines are hard to follow because of grammar and word choice.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Group countries in a more exact way and compare them with correct data.
task response
You wrote a clear introduction and overview.
task response
You used some numbers to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a simple paragraph plan that is easy to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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