IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows information about the popluation of new Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

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The table illustrate about
group
Use synonyms
 of
different
Check wording
people
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
different ages
show examples
 in New Zealand over two years period
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it highlights by
percetages
Correct your spelling
percentages
 in five groups.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can
seen
Verb problem
be seen
show examples
 that
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of changes under all ages
are remained
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
show examples
 as
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
group
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
under
Check wording
the number under
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 of 15
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 decreased.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 another grup are in the middle of
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 population.
Firstly
Linking Words
, looking at the
detials
Correct your spelling
details
, the comparison from the data
gives
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 that all
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age groups
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 between 2011 and 2012 are
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
,
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 gang of under 15 and
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
of
Check wording
group of
show examples
 15-39 both groups are decreased by 2 per cent. Alongside
this
Linking Words
, which means
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of kiwi are swing up
adn
Correct your spelling
and
 down in trend.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
 of 40-60 are moe living healthy and rise
up
Change preposition
by
show examples
 6 per
cents
Fix the agreement mistake
cent
show examples
 for all information.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 over 65
4
Verb problem
is 4
show examples
per
cent
Punctuation problem
cent,
show examples
is different
Verb problem
apply
show examples
which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 people are living healthy and more wealthy in their own
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words group, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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