IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are temporarily moving to a new city for your job. You will be there for three months, and you would like to rent some accommodation for your stay. Write to an accommodation rental office. In your letter •Tell them how long you are staying. •Describe the type of accommodation you would like. •Explain what facilities you will need nearby.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inquire about a rental apartment in your city for three months, from July to September. I am working
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 TMC Communications and temporarily moving to your city at City Centre. I will arrive there on 2 July and will return
back
Rephrase
apply
show examples
on 29 September. My duration of stay will be roughly three months
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 time span I need an
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 to stay. As
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 suggest your agency to contact for short stay. I would like to rent an apartment near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my work location, so that I can commute easily to my office.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, my place would have
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 internet facility, as I would be working on some data transfer tasks, and that
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 a high speed of web.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I need a well equipped kitchenlet, so I can cook
myself
Change preposition
for myself
show examples
. It will be great if there is
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 grocery shop or super market near by, so that I can buy things as per my need
Punctuation problem
, hassle
show examples
hassle free
Correct your spelling
hassle-free
. I hope you
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 any available options as per my criteria, but if not
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 I am flexible with travelling. Thank you for your consideration and time. I look forward to your favourable response. Yours faithfully, David Smith

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but some ideas are not fully clear. Say your needs in a more direct way.
task response
Task response: Keep the style polite and formal all through the letter. Avoid lines that sound too casual or not natural.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end, but some sentences are hard to follow. Use short and clear sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Link your ideas with simple words like and, so, also, and because. This will make the letter easier to read.
task response
Task response: You cover the stay time, the home type, and the things you need near the home.
task response
Task response: The purpose of the letter is clear from the first line.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter is split into clear parts for purpose, home needs, and places nearby.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your greeting and closing are good for a formal letter.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: