IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the percentages of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The table
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 data
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 percentages of
people
Use synonyms
 in different age groups
both
Punctuation problem
, both
show examples
 male and female
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 one town who rode
bicycles
Use synonyms
 in 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, the female childern prever to
bike
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 from all age
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
moreover
Punctuation problem
moreover,
show examples
the female
Check wording
females
show examples
also
Linking Words
 in elderly
people
Use synonyms
 like
the
Correct word order
to use bicycles as an alternative mode of
show examples
bike
Use synonyms
 cycles to use another transportation
.
Change preposition
among elderly people.
show examples
According to
Linking Words
 the
table
Punctuation problem
table,
show examples
 the female children
group
Use synonyms
 from 0 to 9
was taken
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 52.5 from all population
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the male about
51.2 ,
Punctuation problem
51.2%. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 of kids
it is
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the highest percentage of
rode
Wrong verb form
riding
show examples
bicycles
Use synonyms
 over
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
group
Punctuation problem
group,
show examples
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 become fall dowen from both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides,
show examples
 female and male
, the
Punctuation problem
. The
show examples
 older
people
Use synonyms
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 20 to 39 years old
not
Verb problem
, did not
show examples
bike
Use synonyms
 the
bicycles
Use synonyms
 much
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 female
18.2
Verb problem
was 18.2
show examples
 and the male was 10.8
it
Correct pronoun usage
, which
show examples
 is the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 at all for
this
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
elderlay
Correct your spelling
elderly
people
Use synonyms
 60 years and above had a high percentage after
group
Use synonyms
 age from 10 to 59, the female 19.8 and the male 14.6
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
rate
Use synonyms
 is
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
significant for older
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
thay explean
Correct your spelling
they explain
 to other
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 how they can doing exersis and transport
be
Change preposition
by
show examples
bike
Use synonyms
the
Check wording
apply
show examples
bicycles
Use synonyms
 .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, bicycles, bike, group, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: